Today as I sat tapping madly away in my local coffee shop, a conversation started to drift into my space. A father and his adult son sat talking over their plans for the future. The adult son had a lot of financial commitments for the year, including a child old enough to learn to drive who required a car. The conversation continued about the type of car, the amount to spend and moved onto insurance.
Adamant, the father told his son to get the minimum amount of cover available. Consider the excess, the expense; it’s not worth it, he said. The adult son considered this for a moment and agreed. He would take the advice, he said, buy a cheap car and insure it to cover the other party as required but nothing more. It got me thinking about advice and the people we take it from. That father wasn’t an expert, but he was probably speaking from experience. My parents had different advice for me when I was a new driver buying and insuring my own car.
You are only as good as the advice you take.
Bad advice given by well-intentioned people is still bad advice {not saying his was}. I decided from a very early age that I would only take advice from people who had what I wanted in life. It was a simple idea I heard once from a conversation my father was having, and it stuck. Why take advice from someone who has nothing of what you are looking to obtain? It’s like asking a 2-year-old for mortgage advice. Pointless and probably a little silly.
When I go to ask for advice, I do a few things; I make sure I actually want advice. Sometimes you’ve already made up your mind and want someone to validate that. If that’s the case, don’t even bother asking. Don’t waste their time. Do what you want and see how that works out instead. Be brave, act alone. And then, I ask if this person is an expert in the field. If it’s about health and fitness, I ask someone who lives a lifestyle I admire or covet. If it’s about property and investment, I ask someone who has a portfolio that I admire. Choose wisely, my friends, the advice you receive will be of the same standard as the person you ask.
Now, what happens if you ask for advice, the person is right, but you still don’t feel right about acting on it? Well, the good news is that it’s just advice, you can take it or leave it. But you need to consider if you are really opposed to the advice or if you’re lazy, scared or something along those lines. Consider for a moment why you asked for advice, what you were looking to achieve when you asked and why it mattered so much.
Now, why aren’t you taking that expert opinion again?
It better be a good reason…
If not, best you get on with that. Seriously.
And that my friends are my thoughts on asking for advice and getting it, asking the right people, so it’s valuable and acting on it if it fits. So now humour me, what’s the best piece of advice you’ve EVER taken? How old were you and who the person who gave you that advice?
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
The best one is that advice is like butts. Everybody has one and they all stink.
Haha. Indeed.
Yes! I once heard someone say “don’t ever take advice from anyone who isn’t doing better than you.” And I have always tried to go by that. I love your advice about not asking for it unless you truly want it. Often times I just want someone to corroborate my already made decision and when they don’t well…
It’s true. We all do it and then get annoyed if the other person disagrees. Which must be annoying for the person who’s opinion you’re asking. No must about it, it absolutely is annoying. Haha. Now I just say to hubby hey babe, tell me this outfit is awesome. Then I’m not annoyed if I’m greeted by a meh, or a I don’t know or a is that the jacket you’re wearing. Works a charm. 😉
Yes, a thousand times. I can’t believe how many people I see asking advice from complete strangers on the internet. Eg. I used to be on a running forum and people would say they’d been to the doctor who said they had a specific injury and they’d want advice. Wouldn’t you just ask the doctor?
Best bit of advice I’ve received was a friend who said never to borrow money for anything that doesn’t appreciate in value.
Yes and YES. The borrowing money thing is so right. It can be tricky to do but worth it.
My aunt told me to never fall in love with someone I wouldn’t want to be married too. I think she was speaking from experience of falling in love with someone but having to walk away when she realized it wouldn’t work. Initially I found that advice difficult… but it stuck with me in the end. I met my husband right after that, but made sure to look out for what I saw as my warning signs… which he didn’t have. The guy I dated before him would have failed the test! Basically: figure out YOUR dealbreakers…
I like it. I think all of life goes smoother if you know what you want and are clear about it.
I am very lucky to have an amazing mentor who gives me her wisdom freely, and without any expectations. I’ve learnt SO much (and continue to do so). Finding a trusted mentor was as simple as asking someone I respect and admire.
Great post Suger xx
Thank you Kim. And yes you are. I know I’ve been really blessed when it comes to great mentors.