I finally got the chance to catch up with my sister yesterday after the whirlwind last few weeks. I’d missed her terribly. I’d missed all my family terribly, ask poor Hubby who has had to stick by my side like glue and tell me how much he loves me, misses me and that he thinks I’m pretty. Needy and tired is an understatement. Classic worn out me. Really.
Anywaaaaaay.
I finally see my sister and you know one of the first things out of her mouth was ‘what the hell were you thinking wearing flats to a fashion parade!!?’ and I smirked. I’d known this was coming. I wear heels almost everywhere. Wedges mostly but always with some added height. Because why not, that’s why. The day I decided to ditch my ankle boots and wear the flats I KNEW my sister and I would be having this conversation.
You never wear flats, why start then I could hear her mumble as she pottered around in the kitchen. HA. Why indeed? The conversation was over and we went about bonding over party pies and some labelled kids stuff that she had invited her friends over to see which was apparently a HUGE hit with loads of sales. Then I mentioned that I was considering doing the Shave for a Cure next year. Full shave if I could raise enough money and that Amanda Claire {my sister} thought it was a TERRIBLE idea.
Conversation stopped.
Dead.
Silent.
Everyone stared at me with mouths open.
I looked around blinking and was like, what? What’s the matter?
Apparently they all thought that it was a really bad idea. Not just because shaving your head is a BIG commitment but because of this blog and being fashionable. Because it would take me years to grow my hair back. Because wasn’t I worried that under all that hair I might have a weird shaped head… There really is no turning back. Holy crap, think that through, they said.
And I laughed again because I knew once that it was one of those conversations that I had already made up my mind would make no difference to me. If I do the shave it’ll be for me and those I know who have suffered with this fucking horrible disease. They get that. I know these girls, who are such great friends to my sister AND my sister herself, would support me no end if I actually did it.
Lauren even told me she would be there to say how beautiful I looked and that it was barely noticeable even though we would both know she was lying. But I also knew as I glanced around the room at the piles and piles of beautiful long hair that these were never the people to affirm my decision for me. No one can do that. Like wearing flats to a fashion show or flying interstate just to attend. I’m the boss of me and while I love to talk about it. I’ll make the final decision.
I always do. Do you?
Like Liv says, “you’re not the boss of me”.
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
I hardly wear heels anymore. I’m such an old lady. All about comfort 😛 My sister did Shave for a Cure a few years ago. It’s the most amazing thing she’s every done. I have never been more proud of her than I was the day she did that. She has gorgeous hair. She doesn’t have the nicest looking skull (bless her). She’s not even particularly confident or outgoing. But she said it’s the single best thing she’s done to date. She had nothing to be afraid of anymore. It was such a liberating experience for her. Best of all, she raised funds for a very worthy cause. I know you. I know you’ll do exactly what you want. Regardless of what anyone says. I love that about you.
Old lady. Haha.
And thank you for sharing that. It calls to me in that way. I can’t even remember when I stopped cutting my hair and let it grow. Best of all, like you said, I KNOW in my gut I could raise a decent chunk of money. Maybe make some level of difference to people. That’s my primary motivator, and then of course, getting over myself. 😉
Shaving your head is not permanent and the hair will grow back. Plus an opportunity to explore the mad world of wigs. Secondly, this comes from a selfless position. It’s not a sartorial decision, it’s about fundraising for a cause and a sort of solidarity with people with a very serious diagnosis. Fundraising for anything is an endless process and anything that encourages and draws people in to contribute the way that Shave for a Cure does, is a hugely important contribution to charity.
If it was me, I would keep my ears open for people suggesting things I hadn’t already thought of but I assume you’ve already thought it through and people are only suggesting things you’ve already thought of yourself. You are considering an act which is caring and giving to your community and people are talking about more superficial things…says a lot about your character. Good on you!
Haha. I’m way too hot blooded for wigs. I’d be a sweaty mess. The website says they recommend a number 3 or 4 for women, so that would be a centimetre or so at least already. Half way there. 😉
That has something I have always done. I make the decide what is best for me. I may listen to you but I tend to march to the beat of my drum.
Wise Pat, very wise.
If it’s something you truly want to do, then you really won’t need anyone but yourself to affirm your decision to do it.
If I’ve made my mind up about something and I mention it in conversation to other people and they offer their opinion on it – my usual response, in a polite, calm, respectful manner, is “I’m not asking whether you think it’s a good idea or for your permission, I’m merely informing you of my decision to do x, y, z – I’m completely confident and comfortable in my decision to do it, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it”.
There are some people who need that constant reassurance that what they are doing, what they’ve decided, is the right thing – if I’m honest, I used to, I’d ask various people “do you think I’m doing the right thing?” or “should I really be doing this?” but then I got a bit older and realised that the only person who knew what was the best thing FOR me, WAS me! – then there are those of us who don’t and just make the decision and go with it.
I’m fully behind you if you decide to do the Shave for a Cure next year – I imagine it will feel very liberating while supporting a great cause, imagine not having to do your hair in the morning, bliss!
xo
I agree, I’ll totally do what I want to do. And be VERY grateful I have the choice. More and more as I get older, I just decide and then see what people say. If I need input I have to be absolutely certain I haven’t already decided because nothing annoys me more than someone who asks for your opinion and ignores it because they already know what they want to do. Haha.