Or so I say. So quite a few say on our Facebook page.

You see it started in quiet a few conversations when ‘they’ were saying that Miley Cyrus is too young to be engaged to Liam Hemsworth at 19. A lot of readers of this blog have shared their young love success. I was married at 22 after deciding to get engaged not much older than Miley. It’s turned out all right for me so far. I even wrote a few posts how I’m sure people thought I was crazy, and I’m pretty sure I was.

I think it comes down to the people. Their maturity and how hard they’re going to work at it. I often say that if Hubby and I hadn’t adapted to the changes the other made as we grew and changed, we wouldn’t be here. If we didn’t give each other the space to grow. The support to stretch ourselves. I don’t think we’d be here. Not together and possibly one of us {him} not at all. It would have been a fight to the death for freedom.

There are just as many stories of failure in young marriages as there are successes. Proven by my anecdotal evidence collecting, that is. Mine has been successful to date {and I keep saying that so I don’t jinx myself} because we refuse to give in or give up. I think our stubbornness is serving us well in our marriage, surprisingly. So is our tendency to not take things too seriously. To play and laugh. We are perfectly imperfect and it works. Maybe the same will be true for Miley and Liam? I hope so. Hollywood is a tough place to be married in, apparently.

So what say you, is there a ‘perfect’ age to get married?

  • I got married at 23. Still happily married 22 years later. I think you’re right, it’s about how committed you both are to making it work, not how old you are when you tie the knot. Mind you, I don’t hold out much hope for Miley’s marriage lasting … that’s Hollywood for ya.

    • Hollywood indeed. 10 years is a long time for a marriage in Hollywood. But I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

      Congratulations! 22 years is such an achievement. I think I have some insight into how much so. But no idea really. 😉

  • I was engaged at 19, married at 20, and I think it was perfect. Ha! Our attitude to marriage is that you’re married, and there’s no way of ever getting out of it. So you either get over yourself, put the other person first, and have a loving happy marriage, or you stew on things etc., and you are miserable for the rest of your life. They’re the options and divorce isn’t one of them. I think that helps in making things last- lots of incentive to forgive and move on!

    • Non get out of jail free cards. Yup, it’s the only way to be. Committed, I think they call that. 😉

  • Debbie

    I was engaged at 19, married at 20 – and still here, 15 1/2 years later. It’s not an easy walk in the park – but I totally agree that it depends on how much effort you’re going to put into it. We’ve been through some dark days, but those times have built character in both of us and have strengthened our relationship. Age is nothing – but maturity speaks volumes.

    • My parents always told me it took effort. I didn’t believe them. Movies have a lot to answer for. But no I see, it’s a labor of love. Weird but true.

      Congrats on 15.5 years! Wowwee.

  • I had a child at nineteen so I am definitely not in the position to judge as I do feel a child to someone is a bit more of a committment in the way of even if things don’t work out, well we still have to be able to work together on some level for the sake of our child/ren.
    What upsets me is she is ENGAGED. Engagements are called off all the time, and as simply as ending a relationship. They’re not married or annoucing wedding dates. And even if they were, who are we to judge? They know their relationship and what is going on, not us. Just like I feel you knew who you were and your relationship at the time of your marriage.
    Twenty years ago twenty two would have been considered old to get married. Now it’s young? In the end you’ve just got to march to the beat of your own drum, and make decisions based on your life and what you want and feel is obtainable. If we spend our lives making decisions based on what others think or what we may perceive they will think then we aren’t making ourselves happy and working to our fully potential. We are instead confining ourselves and setting ourselves up for unhappiness or failure.
    Geez I’m a tad opinionated aren’t I?

    • So elegantly, wonderfully opinionated. thanks for sharing. Nodded the whole way through. xo

  • river

    I don’t think there is a perfect age to get married. I married at 18, (almost 19) and it worked well for us for 15 years. Then he got out of the Army and couldn’t handle civilian life with its freedoms, its lack of regulations. Things went downhill and we grew apart. We finally divorced after 23 years. There was no bitterness, we knew we couldn’t stay together any longer. But there are many marriages that last forever, just yesterday there was a story in our local free paper about a couple who married at 22 and stayed married, happily, for 67 years. (Then the husband died.)

    • I think you’re right. Thanks for sharing. 23 years is an achievement {and four kids, right?}. Nothing to be sneezed at. At all. And it always amazes me when I hear stories of entire lifetimes. Amazing.

  • I started dating my husband when I was 15 and he was 16, married at 18 and 19, and we are now 25 and 26…. You don’t pick when you meet the one you love. But we got married with the view of there being no ‘out’. It is hard work, but so rewarding. Wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂

  • There is no perfect age. Much like yourself, I married at 21 and we’re still going strong. How many older couples marry late and divorce these days? The problem is marriage is treated like whitegoods these days, so many people enter them with the anticipation they’ll one day be obsolete. Just like that commercial “I take you, to be my lawful wedded husband, knowing I can change my mind at any time” or whatever it says. Ok I’m going off on a tangent now, sorry. No perfect age! People of all ages do stupid things!

    • Haha. Love this. People of all ages do indeed do stupid thing. And I get what you mean about the white-goods comparison. Bet they even put them on credit. 😉

  • Mrs BC

    Heaps of people told me I was too young to get married at 22, and I probably was – but 22 years later I don’t regret it at all. LOVE that wedding photo!
    xx

    • A big ass ditto from me. Except I’m only 10 years down the track from saying yes. No regrets yet. 😉

  • Rhonda Hartman

    I think it’s too young, but that’s only because of my personal experience. It did not last. I just don’t believe there is any rush…and it won’t hurt anything if they wait a few years. Celebrities get married and divorced on a loop in Hollywood. Some last hours and some last years. I admire the ones who make it, but then I find myself thinking marriage is supposed to last, why is it so admirable? Shouldn’t it just be a given?

    • I get what you are saying. I think it’s admirable because once you’re in it, you know what it takes. I think that’s why we admire them. And for celeb type marriages, it’s extra admirable because there is a spotlight on their marriage pretty much all the time.

      My parents actually asked us to wait for a while after getting engaged to get married. Which we did. Now though, even my Mum said that two and a bit year engagement is crazy. Haha. There’s no rush, for sure. But I’m of the why wait mentality too. 😉

  • There absolutely is not a perfect age to get married, as you said, it depends on the individuals in question. Marrying young works well for some, but I have also seen a number of couples marry young and it really was not the right thing for anyone involved, but then there are couple who don’t marry til later in life and that relationship doesn’t work or isn’t healthy either. I think the key is to let your head be part of the decision making, not just your heart. Really look at the relationship in a considered and honest way and see if you can not just spend the rest of your life with that person, but be willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship last and be special for the rest of your life… but that’s just my 2 cents!

    • Absolutely. And it’s like Miss Pink said below, we don’t know because we’re not in it. So let it be what it is. For me I went through a massive process in the lead up to my wedding, there’s nothing like an engagement to shine a light on your relationships flaws, that’s for sure. It also though can be a time of massive growth too. Thanks for weighing in with your two cents. Always a pleasure.

  • Lauren Taddeo

    Nah, I don’t think you’re too young at any age, generally. But I think it also depends on the person.

  • Gillian James

    that is one of the best group wedding pics i have EVA SEEN! love it. And if you are marrying the right person (which you obviously did) i don’t think age matters. I got married at 25 to the wrong person. And it didnt work. I got married again at 34 and its working. The difference is the husband, not the age. x x

    • Thank you. It’s one of my favourites.

      I think this is very true indeed. Husband not age. So Gil, thanks for weighing in. xo

  • I am not married yet but I still don’t think there’s a perfect age. I always imagined myself to have children by 27 (now) and to have been married at 23-24. I had moments when all my cousins were getting married young when I felt like there was something wrong with me. In truth, I was just with the wrong person and marrying him would have been a disaster. We’re getting married next year, I’ll be 28, and it will be the right time for us. I think it just depends on what life throws at you to be honest.

    I never judge people who are young or old and getting married. People do what’s right for them and their relationship. it’s that simple.

    • Great addition to the conversation Hannah. Enjoy your wedding!! I do love a good wedding, mine was a stress out nightmare, but I love other peoples. 😉

  • Kathy Johnston Kerr

    No not too young i was 22 and my husband 20 we already had a 18month old and this year in nov we have been married for 19 years💜

    • Congratulations! I know there are just as many unsuccessful stories are there are success stories, but I just love hearing the success stories. Thanks for sharing. x