I’ve been holding on to this one for an appropriate amount of time to pass. You see it’s a story from in the trenches in property management. It’s about a lady. She was renting a house from us. A rural property perfect for horses. It was about 20 minutes outside of Gympie and she had had at least two inspections there. Application forms were filed, approval given {to her above three other applicants} and the day came to complete the paperwork and hand over the keys.

Oh happy day.

Or not.

35 minutes after this lady walked out the door of my office she was back. Almost in tears. She wanted to hand back the keys. Thinking something must have gone terribly wrong with the house since I was there I asked why? Had it been broken into, was it burnt down, did it now come with a complete set of dishevelled looking squatters with no teeth?

No, she said. My daughter doesn’t want to live there.

Huh? I said.

She went on to explain that her 8-year-old did not want to move there and was refusing to get out the car. So she wasn’t keeping the house. I went on to explain that with a signed lease we would now have to go into a lease break procedure explaining the costs and charges associated with that. She nodded and said she’d do whatever it took. Which she did FYI. And left the office.

I turned to my colleagues who had witnessed the whole exchange. I said, my mother would have told me fine, if I wanted to be a child about it, I could live outside/in the car. And gone straight on about moving. They agreed theirs would have done similar things. No because our mother’s are cruel heartless people but because sometimes you just have to suck it up as a child and have your vote vetoed.

What would you {or your mother} have done?

And why if the child’s opinion mattered SO much didn’t she take her through earlier…?

  • rinniez13

    Thats crazy! I would not have been allowed to act like that child and on the flip side my parents would have taken me with them to atleast the second inspection so I knew what to expect when it came time to move. xx

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Ditto for me. But if circumstances hadn’t allowed for me to be there, I would’ve had to deal.

  • My 8yo would know it’s not their choice, she would never have acted like that and if she did, I would never cave in. I would hear her reasons and talk to her about them but still move in.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Sounds sensible. 🙂

  • MB

    Weird! I’m guessing the child didn’t have a disability or autism or anything which might make the mum do that??
    If not I think this is right up there with the news item this week about overpraised, indulged children who turn into bullies… (They might not all become bullies, but working at a Tafe for 12 years I’ve definitely noticed a trend… Young people who have never heard the word “no” in their life! Going out into the real world comes as quite a shock to these kids… Sorry, I digress!)

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Weird indeed. No cause or concern in relation to that for the child {that would be understandable and I would assume the child would be more involved in the selection process if she were}.

      I heard a little about this. It makes sense. Of course they can’t deal with it! They’ve never learnt how. That’s the disgrace.

  • HaHa,  my mum would have ripped me out of the car with one arm belting me on the bum with the other!! 
    Don’t get me started!, lol, too much importance on not hurting children’s feelings these days.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I think by week three of me living in the car this might have been the result. Haha. 😛

  • Calendarbrain

    I read this and thought the cgild might be autistic or have some kind of anxiety. I have worked with kids who see the world in a very different way to us.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Absolutely. But not in this case.

  • Amy@New Adventures

    My mum wasnt the disciplinarian in our family, it was our dad…. who would have told me to grow up and get out of the car – before HE had to get me out…. 
    This little line also worked with things like ” How bout you go clean your room – you dont want ME to have to clean it ” or ” Those dishes better be getting done…. dont make ME come out and do them “….

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Haha. My parents never really used the don’t make ME do it line because we would have let them. BUT they did have other tricks up their sleeve. 

  • Clarissa Fraser

    That is ridiculius…an 8 year kid! My parents would never have let me get away with that

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      My parents wouldn’t either. For sure!

  • Lee

    Wow.  My Mum inspected, signed and moved to a new house all without my voice coming into it.  We arrived at an already unpacked house.  I do remember being horrified that she’d packed and unpacked my room (including my diary) – that is, of course, what REALLY matters when you’re 10!!  

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      My mother once packed up my room {I’d gone to uni} and unpacked it in another room. My Dad was the most horrified. He’s a real personal space nut. I was glad he was though, it did feel like my space had been violated. Even at 18, it was about the diary. 😉 

  • stinkb0mb

    hmm my parents always brought moving decisions to a house vote eg yes us kids got a say in it and if we all didn’t agree then we didn’t move but this was in relation to buying and selling houses and yes our opinions were counted from about age 8 to 10.

    BUT our opinions were sought BEFORE any ball was set rolling, was it had already been set rolling, eg in this case a lease signed, then it’s a case of suck it up.

    i’d say that kid has her mother wrapped round her finger!!

     

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I’d say you’re right. About the wrapping of the fingers etc. Haha. And about IF you were going to seek her opinion, after the lease was signed was too late.  

  • When my kids were little, my husband was in the army and we moved every two years without any choice at all. In later years as we moved several times within Adelaide we (and later me, on my own) took the kids when looking at houses; they still had no choice about moving, but at least they got to see the house and choose their rooms.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Your experience in the post Army years was how it went for us too. My parents did what they could to ease the transition while remaining firm that this was not up to me. 😉 

  • Denyse Whelan

    Promise I won’t take long….but one of your readers commented like I may have..too many parents do not say NO enough. Too many parents also seem to want to bring their children into adult decisions when the child doesn’t have a developed brain to manage such
    An example….Mother; “we are going to our new house, it will be cool & you can have room to play outside” Kid: “don’t want to. Don’t like it. Want to stay here” Mother (thinking this time- OMG If I don’t listen to her then this means she will go on drugs and hate me because I made her move house) “oh, ok then let’s go and tell the nice lady at the Real Estate we’ve changed our minds”
    Mmmmmmm d

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Hmmmm indeed!

  • If a child is able to do this to a parent then who is running the show?  No wonder we have a generation that wants/gets it own way regardless of what is right or wrong!  We are breeding a generation of bullies who expect to get their own way regardless of the consequences.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I think there was something about this on one of the shows the other night. I missed it but wish I hadn’t.

  • Courtenay Goss

    That’s crazy! Why should and 8year-old have so much input!? You need somewhere to live, you’ve found somewhere and suddenly you can’t because your kid doesn’t want to live there? That doesn’t seem right. I feel really sorry for the mum, it seems like her life is controlled by what her 8y-o wants, shows how much parenting has changed over the years, my parents would have brought out the wooden spoon to get me inside. 
    If the child has special needs that would be influenced by moving, the child should be involved in inspecting houses. My brother is 7 and has austism, he came with us to every house inspection (he was 4 when we were doing all this.. that was a battle and a half) when mum and dad were looking for a new place to purchase and live, we all had input, he was able to point things out we hadn’t thought of, even if he didn’t realise it, if we walked up the stairs and he was running his head along the bannister on the way up it was a pretty good indication of what he would do while we lived there, it also showed us things he could use to calm himself, or things that could potentially throw him into a sensory overload. It sounds like a lot, but they are all little things that make day to day easier. 

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Indeed it is!

      Absolutely it sounds like you family handled moving perfectly. I get the impact it could have on a child who is routine focused or driven. This sounds like a double bonus.

  • Courtenay Goss

    That’s crazy! Why should and 8year-old have so much input!? You need somewhere to live, you’ve found somewhere and suddenly you can’t because your kid doesn’t want to live there? That doesn’t seem right. I feel really sorry for the mum, it seems like her life is controlled by what her 8y-o wants, shows how much parenting has changed over the years, my parents would have brought out the wooden spoon to get me inside. 
    If the child has special needs that would be influenced by moving, the child should be involved in inspecting houses. My brother is 7 and has austism, he came with us to every house inspection (he was 4 when we were doing all this.. that was a battle and a half) when mum and dad were looking for a new place to purchase and live, we all had input, he was able to point things out we hadn’t thought of, even if he didn’t realise it, if we walked up the stairs and he was running his head along the bannister on the way up it was a pretty good indication of what he would do while we lived there, it also showed us things he could use to calm himself, or things that could potentially throw him into a sensory overload. It sounds like a lot, but they are all little things that make day to day easier. 

  • Rhonda Hartman

    I would tell my son to buck up and that when he was old enough to pay his own rent he would be able to live anywhere he chose, but until then this was one of those things that he didn’t get a say on.  My mother would have done the same thing. 

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I like this. It sounds like something my parents would say too.

  • Stephanie

    My husband is in the Navy – sometimes we have not even been able to see our new home in the flesh… just online… thats how it is… and thats what we have to deal with… The kids don’t get a say… as we don’t… Of course, if we get a choice and can view like we have for the past ten years of so worth of moves, we show them the last one or two, but its our choice on which rooms they get etc, as its governed by furniture and who fits what. We don’t have the luxury of possibly having to pay thousands of dollars in money to not move in after a legal contract has been signed!! Our kids know not to do something like that – and believe me fresh teenagers hate moving from their friends… and we know that feeling too. So we support them, but we are firmly the adults, and its our rules, until they grow up and rule their own lives with their own income! Wow, still amazed at this story. Bring on the next couple of years when my husband retires and we can go back to living in our own home again! We have five kids – can you imagine 5 kids telling me they weren’t moving in… oh goodness me…. 14 down to a new born – I think Id go mental batty… and my husband would run off to sea to escape his girls!!!!!!!!!! bahahahahaha

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      This absolutely wouldn’t work for your situation! You might want to join him at sea! 😉

  • edisonmyndiecoco

    My mother, with her very Brooklyn accent, would have grabbed my hand and INSISTED that I help us move in – she would brook no resistance and should I be even more stubborn, she would play martyr mom and remind me of every single thing she had done for me since birth, up to and including this house!!! … Now, Melissa, I’m wondering something else about this:  I can remember sitting at a womens makeup party where – when it came time to buy – this one woman put on a long face and big eyes (were they slightly glistening?) and said her husband wouldn’t allow her to buy anything.  I was very young (20s) and very political you know and I was thinking here I found a battered woman and I could save her! and I got very loud and insistent that she could get what she wanted, damm him – I would pay for it!  She pulled me in the ladies room and said, Don’t you get it?!  I DON’T WANT ANYTHING – HE’S AN EXCUSE!  HE”S NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL, ACTUALLY!  – so I’m wondering if that’s what your deal is here?!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Yes! I’ve heard of this. Heck, I’ve seen it! No idea if this was the case but at the two prior inspections she loved it. She was selected over 3 other applicants because she raved about it.

      Perhaps there was vagrants there? Haha.

  • Tammy Knobel

    Ummmm yep, call me a nasty mother but I don’t think so. If G or A ever refused to live in a house or think that they would have that much pull, they would have it flogged out of them!!! Haha. No seriously, Mum and Dad make the decisions, unless they had a really good reason, and I mean life or death reason, they would definately not have that much pull in the decision making.

    I do realise that with my children, the apple did not fall far from the tree so they would not be backward in coming forward to let me know their feelings on the matter. (During the initial looking process in which they would be involved in)

    I remember when mum and dad were looking at the house that we pretty much grew up in, I proudly told mum in front of the realestate agent that it was not very big and it was dark and that I didn’t like it. (I did get a talking to and they did purchase the house)

    Children should not rule your decisions……..IMO 🙂
    PS if you think I am too mean, they can come and live with you…..I have a teen attitude living with me at the moment so she hates me!!! LOL <3

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Ha. Madame teenager huh. Send her down to Uncle Kel, he’ll sort her out, or wear her out, either or. 😉