Sometimes I feel like a full and whole expression of myself. It’s like the perfect storm of me. Everything comes together, who I am just shines from my face and am words. People can point and say, that’s me. On a page. I still remember my friend Jojo saying to me that when she read this blog it felt like we were having a chat and catching up on the day. That it sounded like me. And I loved that. I held onto that as I wrote and wrote and wrote here. Trying hard to make it very me as the world of brands and competition and monetisation swirled around me.
I wrote as me.
Because who the heck else would I write as.
Well, for a while I wrote about cooking and food because you guys loved it. The traffic went well. The search terms rocketed to the top of my list. It turns out that I’m an ordinary, at best, cook and that when I had to cook for a post I resented it. What had been fun and a source of energy and creativity just wasn’t. Especially as my spare time became less and less. So I stopped. No more would I write recipe posts once a week for the sake of a few clicks thrown my way by a search engine. I think in a lot of ways I was trying to be a well-rounded lifestyle blog.
A one stop shop.
I forgot to be me.
I started chasing what everyone else was doing and attempted to badly run THEIR race.
Do you do this? Or I am the only one who is desperate enough?
Desperate. What a word.
I forgot that while my blog has promises out there to deliver on, the one thing I had never promised was that it would BE something specific. Because I am not something specific so why would my blog be? There are a number of words you could use to describe me. They would change day-to-day. My sister considers me to be moody. Which was a surprise and a shock to me. I would never have said that. But she knows. I see her multiple times per week. Clearly, in a different mood each time. It stung but we can say what we want about ourselves but our mark is left by who we are. Same goes for a blog. you’ve heard the big guys say it. Your brand IS what people say it is. No matter what you say. What are people saying about you?