Most bloggers have a line that they can not and do not cross. It could be relating to your partner, your kids or your work. There are just some things that the internets don’t need to hear. There’s that too. But mostly for me it’s the partner/family member/friend veto. The quick as a whip, pointed, eyebrow raised you are NOT blogging about this.

The veto.

But I was thinking about it the other day. There are things we sometimes are compelled to write that we know are better left unsaid. At the time we might be angry, or laughing so hard at what a fabulous joke it is. Without considering how someone else feels. I think it’s a line we, as bloggers, walk often enough. The line between our story and someone else’s.

There’s a ridiculous story that happened here this week. Hubby demanded it not be blogged. I shared it with a few cousin’s and friend’s {he said blogged, not discussed people} and we all had a laugh at how silly he is, how silly the situation. So I decided I’d approach the idea again. Could I maybe, I asked? Only to be met with a resounding no. No way. Not on the blog. It was vetoed.

It’s not my story to tell. So I don’t tell it. I think about it and wonder why he’s so adamant I not share it. I think he’s being unreasonable. It’s one of those silly things. Clearly he feels that it’s not that silly. I don’t understand it. But I’ll listen and move on to something else. After all our lives are jam packed with silly little stories, most of which Hubby is more than happy to share. Sometimes even going as far as to prompt me.

Have you ever over stepped the line? Blogged about something you were asked or just knew in your gut not to?

Yes or no answers are fine. I don’t want to get you in trouble.

  • seasidechik

    I’ve never stepped over the line. I’ve been asked not to blog something or other before, so I don’t. I keep the family talk to a minimum, more for anonimity than anything else, so it cuts out a lot of the “write or don’t?” conflictions that I would normally have.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I imagine it would. Phew, Lucky you. 😉

  • Rachel from Redcliffe Style

    I really try not to write about other peoples stuff. My husband always says “you’re not going to blog  about this right”. I am always surprised. When have I ever blogged about him, (except when talking etiquette and he asked me too). He is way too boring to blog about. I even ask my girls before writing about them. I would love to vent on the blog, but I don’t.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I choose to not vent on my blog too. Sometimes I write whole posts and delete them. Hubby is generous with his stories, thank goodness, he makes for such great content. Heehee. 

  • I’ve walked the line a couple of times this year, in anger, but it was more to tell my side of the story than to take someone else’s. There are some things I will never blog about and other things I don’t often (like my spirituality) because it is too easily misconstrued when online

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Absolutely, there’s that too. Zoey from Good Googs had some readers turn on her for a post about Saying Can’t. Our words can always be misconstrued, best you be clear or ready to defend, or not say it at all. 

  • Tina @ Tina Gray {dot} Me

    yes.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Be there too. Not going back. 🙁

  • HumbirdsSong

    No, I’m extremely careful about what I write. Deon has asked me not to blog about him or our relationship, and I respect that. Plus, I’m quite happy not to, my students don’t need to know about the inner workings of our relationship! 😛

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      You and I have talked about this. I think the balance you’ve struck is wonderful. 

  • Carly Findlay

    I think blogging about the unbloggable happened to me last week, as you know. 
    I usually ask friends and family if I can blog about something and use their name and pic. 
    I thunk there’s a gut instinct about what’s bloggable and what’s not. If you’re a responsible blogger that is. 
    I agree with you writing about what’s your story to tell. I’m a big believer in telling your own story around disability and illness. It scares me how much parents write about their children on their blogs, and the photos they publish. Its a fine line raising awareness and oversharing or even exploitation by publishing stories and photos of very sick children… 

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      It’s a fine line for sure. Each parent, each family has to walk that line. Especially when sad news or experiences are the topic of discussion. 

      The gut instinct is essential. I feel like talking about my difficulties conceiving is a fine line between sharing my process and over-sharing. Cashing in, in some ways, on the pain and suffering we’ve experienced. Trading it for support, kind words and views. It makes me sick to think someone might think I do it for that reason. 

  • Yeah, there is a fine line, I am very reluctant to talk about Windows Vista in my blog 😛

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Oh HA HA! 

  • Talia Carbis

    Yeah, I have, back when I was fresh out of highschool and had my first blog. It was a bit messy- I said some stuff (just thoughts) that was probably a bit judgmental, and she took it VERY personally. We basically stopped being friends then, and I took it all down.

    On a side note, this is what I love about scrapbooking- I often do up a page (even if there’s no photo) that tells a story. If it’s meant to be kept private, then I don’t share the layout with the interwebs, and I put it in our personal scrapbooks most people don’t see. 🙂

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I’ve made mistakes in the past but it has cost me very little. I’m sorry to hear it cost you so badly. 

      I love that about scrapbooking too. I have notes hidden within pages should anyone ever REALLY look. Now you know my secret. I haven’t done any pages in ages! Might have to get on with that. 

      • Talia Carbis

         Remember how we were going to scrapbook together AGES ago? Before we ever met? Ha!
        If you’re keen for a scrapbook some time, let me know- I need to get on top of some travel albums!

        • Melissa Walker Horn

          So does my cousin! She has travel pages coming out her ears. I still have some from 2004. Not many, but some. Haha. Might have to plan something. Before the photos are lost somewhere. 

  • Jane @ The Hesitant Housewife

    When I first started blogging I purged a lot of things I shouldn’t have, thinking no one would ever read it. People started reading. I’ve started a fresh blog site now, and have learned to only share my own story.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      A mistake we all make, to some degree, I think. I know I thought no one I knew would ever read this. Turns out, I was wrong. Luckily I was never overly critical or anything like that, just a misstep here or there. 

  • Kim H

    Yes! I’m a blabber mouth. I forget to ask people if I can write about things and post their photos sometimes too. I ahve been asked a few times now to take  off ugly photos. x

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Blabber mouth, huh? 

      It always fascinates me when people ask you to take bad photos {or what they would classify as bad} down. I’ve done it once. Or at least asked for a vicious crop to take off my super protruding belly in a super tight dress. Eeeek. So bad. 

  • Nadine Petschauer

    Ummmmmmmmmmmm…………… have to blog to be able to blog the wrong thing, lol! I’ve all but dropped off from blogging. I have definitely done that and then deleted it only to find that someone had already cut and paste it to their site, omg. The person didn’t see it but it still freaks me out that it’s somewhere in the www. 🙂 LOVE your blog btw……… it’s looking sensational. I’m inspired to start blogging again. 🙂

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      It’s so permanent. That’s a great reminder of that. You never know who already has a copy or has saved it through whatever method. You best be preapred to stand by those words forever. That’s what I tell myself. 

      And thank you!! I’m very happy with it at the moment. Love, love it. Enjoy getting back into it. 

  • Over time I have discovered my own line.. I cross it sometimes but usually it is something about myself. 
    Since last year I have become more withdrawn as to what I publish; I guess being attacked on your own blog does that to you.I tend to ask James if he is okay with me posting anything; same with images. Because as far as I am concerned the internet is forever and if he isn’t comfortable with anything being published I don’t publish it. 

    As for family stuff, I just don’t publish it anymore. There is no point; unless it is a direct impact on me. It isn’t my story.Work does get discussed occasionally; but I am not overly comfortable in doing so. I never name names and I try to be as vague as possible.

    xx

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I remember when that happened. It’s important to have your own line. Absolutely. 

  • There is SO MUCH I don’t blog about. Just so much, I sometimes feel like I might explode. This is why I started The Unbloggable Guest Post Series, so that people who needed to vent could do it safely and anonymously on a blog other than thier own. I should flog it more, I think it is a well needed service!
    x

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      A well needed service indeed. Perhaps there is someone on here that would like a space to say what they need to say. 

  • YES! Oh, yes. There’s been MANY ”unbloggable” incidents that have happened to me within the past 6 months, and although I’d love to write about them (I have no shame to bare MY all!), if it involves friends/family/loved ones, sometimes you *do* have to take notice of that ”line”. (Pout!)

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Pout indeed. I hear you. xo

  • When it comes to Dad 101, if I am not sure I will write the draft and give him the right to read it, suggest edits or straight out veto it. I tend not to write in detail about other family or friends as I don’t want to jeopardise these important relationships.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      A similar process here. But Hubby is happy with a heads up on content. No reading required.

      I think your method sounds right on the money.

  • sheribombblog

    I’d really like to blog more about The Man…there are things he’s been going through for the last couple of years that I wish I could share so that I could get some support, some cheering up, some assurance…to lighten my load…but it’s not my story to tell and it’s not the kind of story he wants to share and so I just have to keep quiet, although very occasionally I’ll drop a hint here or there and some very astute people will pick up on it and PM me…it’s still not quite what I need but it gets me by

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      The not your story is a strong one. For sure. That has to be the guiding factor.

      And you just ask me for what you need. I’ll deliver it. Promise. xo

  • I try not to. I think it’s still a learning process in some areas, especially with new people who come into your life. These days, I tend to ask people ‘do you mind if I mention this’, just to suss out how they feel. I have had 2 times when I’ve had my Mum call me and ask me to take something down from my blog. I’ve had my brothers ex create a big ho-ha over a twitter update. I think, I don’t mind sharing things when it’s personal, when it revolves around me, but I’m a lot more cautious these days about sharing things that involve other people.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I think once bitten twice shy. When someone takes something personally or it really was over the line, it can make us cautious of doing it again. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just is what it is. Thanks for sharing.

  • Rhonda Hartman

    I have blogged my personal opinions which ended up offending people, but I try really hard to determine if a story is mine or if I should ask permission.  Most of the time people are open to me sharing.  If I do share a story that is mine but might have implications for someone else I use pseudonyms or initials, like in my recent story of my abusive teenage relationship, I used his initial rather than just putting his full name out there.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      This is a great compromise I think. A fine line to walk, for sure. Hard to always stay on the right side of it.

  • My blog isn’t a place for mean either, but you’d be surprised {or maybe not} how often people read things and think they’re about them or meant to be aimed at them when really I’m talking about myself. So I hear you, LOUD & CLEAR.