The other night, late as usual, I crawled into bed next to my husband. The room was dark and his rhythmic breathing filled the silence of the room. Getting cosy down under the covers, I sighed. Fresh sheets, mmmmm, my favourite. Stretching out, settling in.

Then I felt it.

Towards the bottom corner of my side of the bed there was a lump. It nudged against my calf muscle. Squishy but unrelenting. Oh my gaaawd, I thought. It’s probably a mouse. I’m under attack by a bed crawling mouse. Oh no, oh no. OH NOOOOO. My extreme fear of mice may have impacted this thought process.

In the dark I imagined it eating me alive until it occurred to me it wasn’t moving. the idea of a dead mouse being in my bed was only slightly more comforting. Pressing myself flat against the back of my still sleeping Hubby I nudged the lump with my toes.

Take that dead mouse, I thought. You don’t control me. I nudged it a little more and it occurred to me it wasn’t mouse shaped at all. It was much to wide and large for a mouse. Holy COW. Not a rat, surely!? {Important to note at this point that NO, I don’t live in a rodent infested home. I’m much too terrified of rodents to allow that!} So I woke Hubby. There’s something down there, I said. Under the sheet.

It’s probably jocks or socks, he said. 

Oh. Right. That’ll be it. I admitted kind of sheepishly. 

Go back to sleep, he said. 

So I went to sleep. Wrapped around him on his side of the bed, of course, far far away from the possible rodent but probably sock at the bottom of my side of the bed. I drifted off to sleep thinking, people really were to quick to judge that princess with the pea lady. Stuff in your bed is creepyyyyyyyyy.

Oh yeah. Thanks Nat. It was a sock. I checked in the light of day, of course. I’m not crazy!

  • Strippedbareau

    You didn’t say what it was… Way to leave a girl hanging

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      REALLY. Ha. I suck at this.

  • Maxabella

    If it’s not moving, I’m generally okay. I’d rather sleep with a possible rodent than spoon someone. Seriously. x

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Baahaha. I’m the outer spoon, so I can escape whenever I like. To be spooned indefinitely freaks me out. But I really, REALLY hate rodents.

  • whiningattheworld

    Creepy. I’d be worried it was a huge hairy spider.

    Great, I bet I have nightmares now.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Ugh. Sorry. But in all seriousness, I’d rather the spider. It’s squishable. 😉

  • Lol. Not a chance I’d have been able to let Joel roll over and go back to sleep. He’d have to get up. Investigate. Save me. I always did sympathise with the Princess. I can’t sleep with creases in my bed. Imagine me trying to sleep with a pea.  Or a sock!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Exactly! I should have been rescued. Chivalry is dead. Absolutely. 😉

  • I can’t believe you didn’t have to get up and look or get it out… I would have obsessed about it (and just the fact that it was there), or it would have annoyed the crap out of me and sleep would have proved elusive!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Well, I was a bit afraid of what I would find. That doesn’t even make sense, but it seemed better to steal Hubby’s side of the bed and snuggle in until morning. Crazy, yes. Haha.

  • Firstly; I would have had to get up and clear away whatever the thing was, no way would I be able to leave it until morning.
    Secondly; just to clarify, no stray sock would EVER be left in my bed.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      HA. Oh River. 😛

  • Random squishy things at the end of the bed… oh no thank you.  Every light would have been on, the covers thrown back and me cowering in the corner of the room (possibly in foetal position).  I’m impressed you were able to sleep at all!!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Well, I WAS pretty tired. Lazy, I think is the word actually. I just kept saying, it’s just socks or jocks until I fell asleep. A bit like a meditation track. 😉