Today has been a pretty fun day. I look forward to Mondays and the community of the Aussie Curves ladies. Made even better by how you guys have really rallied behind it and supported it. Then I go to my Weight Watchers meeting and come home ready and raring to go for another week. I catch up with Hubby, eat some food, shower and pack my bag for the gym. Then I sit down and realised, hold on, my blog’s looking a little empty over there this evening… No post.

Whoops.

So I check my drafts and none of them seem quiet right. I flip through the photos on my phone looking for some inspiration. I rehash my day and wonder about the things in it that might make a post. Like taking house photos with my Mum, then having coffee. About burning my tongue yet again on hot soup. About the fact it’s been 10 days since my last work out and I’m feeling a flabtastic. None of it forms into a whole post.

Then I start to type and begin to see what unfolds. I read some posts and go to comment but stop. I have more to say then can be said in one comment form. I want to offer my opinion and my thoughts on everything. On outlooks and on gratitude and feeling good in life. I’m lucky I have a blog actually, otherwise I’d be a serial super commenter {You know the ones that take up half a page? Those!}. But the babbling kind. I have a place to make a difference. In a lot of ways I believe I do.

But is it enough? There’s always more that you can give of yourself, apparently. But I’m not sure I believe that. At some point your ability to give becomes diminished by the weight of what you have given if you feel obligated to do so, out of guilt or fear or even remorse. I believe gratitude is key. I believe that by living outside of ourselves and in the present that opportunities will be shown to us to be of service. I believe that this is what life is. To be in service. To others and to ourself.

See what I mean about the whole babbling thing?

Some night’s I find the white glow of the computer screen too much. There’s a pressure there to be a lot of things. Often those things don’t align themselves with each other. For me the constant downward pressure of the shoulds weigh on me and I lose focus of what it is that I am doing. Do you demand tear your heart out stuff from me, to lay my pain on the page. Or does it have my grace to carry to burdens with a genuine gratitude for what I have and a positive outlook. I don’t know. So I do what comes to me.

I say what comes to me to say.

I won’t be judged by the shoulds.

Should be more serious.

Less serious.

Should care more.

Share less.

Should do more.

Should accept less.

You have your challenges and your trials in life. I have certainly had mine. You deal with them in the way you see fit. Perhaps it’s made you dark and insular. Reaching for a way to make the time spent worthy of something. I find, I’m the opposite. When life challenges me I find strength in the hearts and hands of others. I find light in the service of others and rather than weigh me down with the responsibility, I accept it and it buoys me.

To you my attitude and outlook may seem frivolous.

But you don’t know.

We all have our challenges in life.

They aren’t confined to you.

I’ll do things my way, you do things yours.

I think we’ll find each other in the same place at the end.

{and it’s probably at the end of a late night blog post that started as one thing and ended up something completely different while an Australian actor slays some kind of beast on the television in a very Gladiator’esque way. We would have decided to be kinder to people. More generous. And of service to others.}