Well, well, well. It has been a while since we had one of these posts. I guess, I just got sick of telling everyone else what to do and decided that it best to practice what I preach. And now I’ve found a topic too annoying to ignore. So it’s time I pull up my socks and pull on my bossy boots. I like it, I missed it. I want to do it. So here we go, Suger’s Rules for Facebook.

If the baby isn’t growing in your womb, or something you participated in directly, then it’s not your news to tell. Yes vague posts on that person’s wall count. And while we are on the topic, if the parent’s of a newly birthed baby have not said a word online, neither should you. Put it this way, if you wouldn’t send out cards for the occasion, it’s not your occasion, so back off.

If someone is quitting a job or getting a new one, the same rules apply. No matter how stealthy your good luck today mate type posts are, we ALL know what’s going on. Especially after months of complaining about their job. It’s not rocket surgery.

So you had a fight with your friends, did you? We know, it hurts. But snarky, moderately vague insults hurled into our news feed are just awkward for everyone involved and even worse for those not. Keep it in the inbox people. Or go a good old fashioned cat fight like normal people.

Games. Ugh, the games. If you play them, great. But keep in mind they are the Facebook equivalent of a pyramid selling scheme. You are effectively selling your mates up the creek for a bag of corn. Don’t be sad if others won’t play with you. Just make up a fake profile or fifty. I hear that works too.

And finally, the deactivate account, reactivate thing. And I’m eye balling a couple of my beloved cousin’s who do this. You two know who you are. Haha. If you’re going to deactivate your account, just do it. Swiftly and without fuss. It will leave the jerk types wondering if you don’t like them any more. It’s funnier this way. And less awkward when you come back.

Over to you, do you have any rules for Facebook?