Well, well, well. It has been a while since we had one of these posts. I guess, I just got sick of telling everyone else what to do and decided that it best to practice what I preach. And now I’ve found a topic too annoying to ignore. So it’s time I pull up my socks and pull on my bossy boots. I like it, I missed it. I want to do it. So here we go, Suger’s Rules for Facebook.

If the baby isn’t growing in your womb, or something you participated in directly, then it’s not your news to tell. Yes vague posts on that person’s wall count. And while we are on the topic, if the parent’s of a newly birthed baby have not said a word online, neither should you. Put it this way, if you wouldn’t send out cards for the occasion, it’s not your occasion, so back off.

If someone is quitting a job or getting a new one, the same rules apply. No matter how stealthy your good luck today mate type posts are, we ALL know what’s going on. Especially after months of complaining about their job. It’s not rocket surgery.

So you had a fight with your friends, did you? We know, it hurts. But snarky, moderately vague insults hurled into our news feed are just awkward for everyone involved and even worse for those not. Keep it in the inbox people. Or go a good old fashioned cat fight like normal people.

Games. Ugh, the games. If you play them, great. But keep in mind they are the Facebook equivalent of a pyramid selling scheme. You are effectively selling your mates up the creek for a bag of corn. Don’t be sad if others won’t play with you. Just make up a fake profile or fifty. I hear that works too.

And finally, the deactivate account, reactivate thing. And I’m eye balling a couple of my beloved cousin’s who do this. You two know who you are. Haha. If you’re going to deactivate your account, just do it. Swiftly and without fuss. It will leave the jerk types wondering if you don’t like them any more. It’s funnier this way. And less awkward when you come back.

Over to you, do you have any rules for Facebook?

  • Don’t change your status to ‘single’ five minutes after you broke up and certainly don’t do it on a regular basis ha! (Not me, of course) and I don’t need a blow-by-blow account of EVERY little thing you have done EVERY day, get a diary! (Again, not me) And don’t post a vague status, then when questioned (cos that’s what you wanted) say you don’t want to talk about it! (Totally not me) lol

  • Simone

    I couldn’t agree more!

  • Malene

    Quit emotional updates if you don’t want to talk about it when people ask. I hate to look at conversations like:

    “OMG, my life sucks!!! :'(”
    “Aw, what’s wrong?”
    “Nevermind, don’t want to talk about it.”

    Just don’t talk about it then!!!!

    http://www.piece-of-my-mind.blogspot.com

  • Patrick weseman

    I have one person who always talks about their physical issues. I mean it is like at least five times a day. Geez, if they were a horse,it would have been shot.

    Also, people you rag on the opposite sex and saying how bad they are. I do not mind once, but when it is a daily thing-then…..

    • I know it’s wrong to laugh, but the line about the horse I almost spat my coffee. Haha.

  • Amy Wells

    I love all your rules! The snarky status updates re: an argument with someone are my biggest bug bare…people only do that when they want someone to go ‘ aww what happened? Don’t worry about it, your awesome! ‘ type comments, and I refuse to pander to people like that!

  • I completely agree!

  • I get annoyed with those who constantly do cryptic status updates :/

  • Carly Findlay

    Games. Enough. I also hate those awful sad pictures of kids with disabilities, and theyngetpeople to feel sorry for them/criticise them. Stop.

  • Same rules for me. And those cryptic please ask me what I’m talking about updates mentioned in previous comments. Either say it or don’t. I won’t ask for clarification. I also hate the facebook diary…7:02 woke up….7:05 getting in shower…and so on throughout the day. Honestly, no one really cares what someone else is doing every single minute of the day. And if they do, get them help!

    • Haha. YES!

      10:15pm I’m having a tea and responding to comments.
      10:16pm I’m kicking my own ass for being annoying.

      HAHA.

  • Emma Hinchliff

    HAHAHA OMG Suger that picture that you have well that’s my friend’s nephew!! On the Gold Coast in his ute. He is the guy on the far right lololol.

    • WOW! REALLY!? The internet really is a small world! Good thinking 99. I LOVE this idea. Considering replicating it for Australia Day.

      btw, I’m happy to take it down is he prefers.

  • Deb

    my big one is the whole “I love my husband/boyfriend/children so much, they are my life, my everything crap” or “My children are my world/the best/geniuses/best athletes” etc etc. I have zero f#$s to give in that regard. We all love our kids/husbands/boyfriend, get over it. We don’t need an announcement. Or people who ride your status updates like they are oxygen to them. They like/reply to EVERYTHING you do within seconds of you doing it. Step away from the keyboard people. Go out and get a life yourself!

    • Heehee. But didn’t you hear, I am super loved and blessed and know the smartest people ever?? Gosh. 😉

  • Hahaha, yes to all of the above! The ones that get me (and I have a few who do this), are the couples who write on each others’ walls “I love you so much, you’re the best husband/ wife ever”, or worse make this their status updates (frequently).
    Then there are the couples who have a FB conversation while it’s quite obvious they’re in the same house at the same time!
    Get off the computer and have a conversation with your loved one!!

    • Yeeeeeeees! I used to leave a message for Hubby every now and again when he was truck driving, but he said to me, errr babe, why not text me, it’s weird. And he was totally right.