Do you say sorry, a lot? I was thinking about it, and I do. I like to be polite, but sometimes I say sorry and I think, what the heck was that for? My question in this all is when does it spot being about politeness and start being apologising for existing. Sorry to have taken up too much space, to have been opinionated, to have made you notice you’re not the only person in the world.
I first became aware of how often I would apologise for myself, my ideas and my thoughts under the wing of an employer focused on personal development. And personnel development it would seem. He said to me once that I should stop being so sorry for myself and take notice of how often I said it. He was right, I said it A LOT.
Part of me was apologising for myself then. Apologising for being big, for being a woman, and for being stupid (which I thought I was). Mostly I was quietly apologising for drawing attention that I clearly, being such a failure in life, didn’t deserve. My early twenties were rough to say the least. I met and married Mr Suger; we had a lot on our plates with seriously grown up things to manage, and I was dealing with the worst depression of my adult life. So I said sorry for existing to anyone who would listen.
Sorry for existing world, sorry about that.
It’s no way to live, but we do it all the time. It’s something that I highly recommend that you watch your sorry. Being polite matters to me, I’ll always apologise first in the supermarket run in, the brush past, the times I mean it. Always. But I won’t and don’t apologise for who I am anymore. I won’t apologise for taking up space in this world and being who I am. And neither should you.
That’s why this post is called stop being sorry. I want you to stop being sorry for the things that make you who you are. Stop being sorry for existing and take up all the darn space you need to take up to be the shiny, excited, loud, determined, awesome version of you. That’s what you owe the world, not your apology.