I sat in my living room the other night, it was after 10pm. Hubby had just arrived home with arm loads of bags. I was heading off for my weekend away {well two of the days} in the morning. It occurred to me, I wasn’t the only one. Hubby was packing for an adventure too. He had grasped the window of opportunity and was going fishing.

Gone fishing, that’s him.

In this arm loads of bags there were subway sandwiches {apparently making your own is too hard}, peanut brittle, mixed lollies, stacks of ice and some other random food type things. Or it might have been bait. That’s a lie, it wasn’t bait. That would be gross. But he had everything he would need, a huge grin on his face and a skip in his step.

I realised I was jealous.

Even though I was just as excited about my plans it annoyed me that he seemed so happy to be rid of me. Happy to be free for the weekend. Happy without me. Gulp. Uh oh. Here it is. They said it would happen. We were young. A blissful 10 years behind us, one or the other of us had to crack sooner or later. I always thought it would be me, let’s be honest. Even he thought it would be me.

OMG how could it possibly happen. THEY were right.

I glared at those sandwiches, screwing up my face in an ugly snarl. Softened it into a pout and said but won’t you miss me at all. In my cutest, most manipulative voice. Nah, he said. Probably about as much as you’ll miss me. Grinning at me through the cloud of happy that surrounded him. The snarl returned.

Could it be that we are happier separate these days? Has the weight of life and mortgages and grass on the white tiles finally pushed us over the edge? I took my snarly pout to the couch and thought about it. Thought about when I’m the happiest. When he’s the happiest. I sifted through memories of how it was, back in the day. 10 years ago. Were we happier before?

I think of nights when we would drive to the waterside and sit under the moon. Warm nights, cold nights, we loved them all. We would talk about everything in those days. I think there was more to say. Things to discover about each other. Endless nights and days of talk. I think it’s natural for those moments of discovery to fade, a little. They turn into rediscovery. Finding each other again. Daily.

Things deepen and change.

So I go and find him. I tell him that I hope he has an amazing couple of days. I tell him that I love him more now then I ever have. And that I can’t wait to spend some time out, some me time, too. Bugger off already but come back quickly, I tell him, I was being silly before. The simple fact is  I can’t wait to see him again Sunday. And I haven’t even left.

I know he feels the same.

  • KateMason

    awwwww sweetness! BUT, cheeky pants, you did have me worried a little! xo

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Whoops! I have myself worried sometimes, usually I’m just being a drama queen. 😉

  • I know what I want to say, but I’m not sure how to say it. (this is why I’m not a writer)
    Time spent apart is great, something to look forward to, time to do stuff you love that the other one may not enjoy so much, and because you have a steady home base to come back to, each partner can enjoy the time apart knowing the other will be there to welcome them back. It’s a bit like when your child has their first sleepover at grandma’s without you, or when they have a week at the first school camp away from you.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I think you said it beautifully. You should give yourself more credit as a writer. xo

  • My Vintage Vow

    When time an circumstances allow I generally take off during the year for a long weekend to Melbourne, Gladstone….heck I’ve even been to Canberra for the an exhibition at the National Gallery. I either head off to spend time with a friend or go with one. I love these times apart, so does hubby but we miss each other just as much. It’s good for us, good for him, good for me, good for our souls. I am well, well, well overdue for a trip, but I hope to squeeze one in before the end of the year.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      It is important, I think. Definitely something that has kept my parents marriage so string over the years. Somewhat separate interests and the occasional weekend away.

      Enjoy yours, shall I come too!? 😛

      • My Vintage Vow

        Why of course my dear. Where shall we go. I’m rather partial to Melbourne myself he he he.

        • Melissa Walker Horn

          Only later in the year, I hate being cold. 😉

  • Hey Mel, I remember that feeling, those blokey weekends away, its been about 5 Years,  It isn’t about being getting rid of your partner
    Its about being in another world! ie normally surrounded by blokey things, for me it was race cars, for your hubby its fishing. You don’t have to give a second thought to being called to do anything, or how much time you are talking to someone and neglecting your partner, you eat what,when and where you want, and then when you have a few beers onboard you sit around  and talk crap in some sort of swahili language! ahh the memories….  No seriously it is a short term hapiness and you are well and truly looking forward to returning to your loved one after a couple of days.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Naaaaw. I love this man perspective. It’s just as sweet as I hoped it would be. Get your man-cation on Tony. Have a beer at least. 😉

  • Serialstyler

    Trust me, it’s a good thing. 14 & a bit years for hubby & I, we haven’t spent more than 2 days apart in that entire time. It’s lead to both my husband & I really stuggling (especially ‘casue he has anxiety) if we have to spend time away from each other at all. He was in hospital for 3 nights last year & I barely slept without him. You need to have some time away from each other or take it from me, you will become WAY too dependant on each other. Embrace the independance!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I’d probably kill him. Then have to go to jail. Feel bad about it and all that jazz. Haha.

      When we were first married hubby drive trucks and would be away or sleeping most nights of the week. I love alone time. Space makes me happy.

      But like I always say, whatever works for you. My sister likes to share hobbies and time together. Each to their own.

  • So nice that you can both be happy for a weekend away, as well as be happy together! I think that time out (from each other, and life!) is a good thing…as it makes you appreciate each other a bit more 🙂

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thanks. I think so too. I also think that if it was the only time we were happy we’d have issues. 😉

      Plus I’m always SO glad to see him when I get home. That’s a win.

  • Gillian James

    This post gave me little tears in my eyes! So lovely. It is hard sometimes to juggle the apart and the together. I know that I always enjoy my alone time, but I always get that little flutter in my chest when I see my Husband again- I guess that s how we know it’s all good. 

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I think you’re absolutely right. The flutter is it. 🙂