How would you rate your self esteem?

She asked. 

HIGH! I answered, bordering on up myself actually. 

I answered, only a little bit tongue in cheek. 

I mean, you must have a reasonable level of self-esteem to post pictures of yourself online every two seconds... Right!? Haha.

It’s self-esteem week over at Seven Cherubs, and Naomi is talking a lot about how to maintain your esteem for yourself {Oh haha, I got sick of saying Self Esteem, ok!} in a series of posts. So jumping on board this train of self-love I decided to add my thoughts. You see there are a few things I know about self-esteem. Hard fought lessons I’m more than happy to share.

Self esteem requires;

  • That you be kind to yourself. Particularly important when you are having a day when if you scored your accomplishments on a 1-10 you’d be a minus 5. Maybe you’re not where you want to be. Maybe you’ve stuffed up royally and you know it.
  • Be accountable to yourself. You can’t have self-esteem if you are constantly letting yourself down. If you did it to someone else, would they have esteem for you? Doubtful. They’d probably tell you to bugger off and never come back.
  • Take the time to relate to yourself. I know so many people who cannot be on their own. They don’t like it. The silence and the quiet closes in on them. I assert that it’s because they can’t be with themselves and their little voice of ick. They can’t be with what they think about themselves. Start small, start by driving without music, start by eating without the tv on… All these little moments start to allow you an insight into how you relate to yourself.
  • Stand up for yourself. Never let anyone undermine you. Ever. If there are criticisms to be made or changes required, make sure they know that a room full of people is not the place to make such assessments. In private, one on one is. Defend this right to the end. How you allow others to speak about you and treat you says a lot about how YOU FEEL ABOUT YOU. So start cleaning up the half jokes, the implied insults and the digs. It’s time to call games over on these.
  • And finally; Listen to the signs. You’ll be able to tell when your self-esteem starts to slip pass medium and into the red zone. That voice in your head, the commentary will seem very loud indeed. Like this week for example, one too many party foods for parties has left me feeling bloated and laaaaazeeee. My little voice if RAGING at me. And while it talks to me like that, there’s nothing to do but feel sorry for myself and admire how crap I’ve become. So back to the previous steps and rebuild. Start with being kind and go from there.

So there you go. I hope you’ll pop over and read Naomi’s post series, it really is fabulous and it only started yesterday {I think?} so you haven’t missed much. And if you don’t, I hope that you will take something from this and start the self-love party train.

Woooo Wooooooo.     

Lame. I know. Ha!

  • Danielle Andreoli

    I totally would have answered exactly the same. I received a message the other day through twitter that went along the lines of I’m totally envious of you and all you s/media peeps that post photos of yourself. My response, you’ll get there. Your not a blogger until your totally in love with yourself.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Agreed! Especially personal bloggers. Way up ourselves. 😉

  • Yvette Pointon

    I would probably answer medium.. perhaps a little bordering on low. I think I need a little trip to Seven Cherubs..

    Thank you for the post.. 

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      You’re welcome. Enjoy the posts, I know you will.

  • Thea Smith

    Low, always has been.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      It’s my mission in life to have you see how fab you are. Seriously. Even if I have to beat you with a stick. 😛

  • sarahbraaksma

    the first one is one Im working on.. Being kind to myself is something I find hard to do./. but Ill get there 😉

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I’m sure you will. Treat yourself nicely. It’s worth it.

  • Lizzie @ Chookarelli

    Wavers, from low to high … all the time 🙂

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Such is the nature of the beast. Here’s to another high day soon! xo

  • Sarah

    Mine is usually in control but has been sliding towards the red zone. Now it is firmly entrenched there and won’t budge. I hate that because I sure do enjoy being in love with myself:)  I can’t even blog!!!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I’m sorry to hear that Sass. You’re an inspiration to me, the way you manage food and eating. Start the steps and blog soon, ok? xox

  • stinkb0mb

    As I said to Naomi yesterday via Twitter mines not only low but into negative numbers, that slide began a couple of weeks ago. I envy people like you, I truly do.

    And going off what Dani said I’m never going to be a blogger!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thanks Rach, you’re all kinds of wonderful, and I’m hoping you’ll see that one day. Until then, I’ve got your back.

      Ha. Never say never, my friend, we did get a real live avi pic out of you, didn’t we..! You’ll be modelling outfit posts in no time.

  • All so very true!

    And I would like to add that despite people thinking it is, self-esteem is not the key to long lasting happiness. Resilience is. Self-esteem can actually be just liking yourself rather well while all around you crumbles. x

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      A welcomed addition as always. Thanks Bron. xo

  • sheribombblog

    Mine is generally high, sometimes slipping to medium and thankfully only ever rarely slipping to low. But the point on relating to yourself and being able to be alone…that’s the biggest thing I need to work on. Now more than ever as I’ve never been good at being alone…I’ve often thought it’s just because I’m a chatty cathy and get bored without someone to listen to me ramble…but more and more I realise it’s something I definitely need to do. Great post. Going to check out Naomi’s now. Thank you xx

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      You’re welcome!

      Just start small, you’ll get there. You’re much too fabulous not to enjoy your own company.

      • sheribombblog

        Heh 🙂 thanks x

        • Melissa Walker Horn

          You’re welcome. 🙂

  • Modernmummymayhem

    Love this post and Naomi’s posts this week. It has brought to my attention the reasons why my self esteem has been poor in the past. Blogging is helping me to feel like I am shining…:). My workplace is where my self esteem suffers and i must remember these lessons you have shared.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I’m so glad they’re coming in handy for you! Blogging certainly helped me find my feet and confidence. I’m sure it’ll do the same for you.

  • Phantom

    I may or may not be who Daniele was talking about 🙂 You got a similar message,
    Unfortunately mine is from red zone to 0 pretty much always closer to the latter. Tried all sorts of things but its a stubborn old bugger to shift. Not after sympathy or anything just commenting on the post, giving a balanced perspective!You may have noticed I hide behind it alot with humour, thats the best I can do, and it will have to do.Like I have Said, I think you guys are Awesome !

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I get that. This is a post where everyone is sharing their esteem rating. No sympathy going to be given. Only a shove to follow the advice and start moving the pointer.

      You really ARE funny. You could add that to the things you esteem {ha!} about yourself.

  • Self Esteem is something I really struggle with, but it is something I am really trying to work on. I know it is key to the turn around for many other areas in my life. I think it is so interesting that you have posted this now as in the last week or so I have really been having to challenge the way I let people treat me. I don’t exactly let people walk all over me, but I’m not overly assertive on my own behalf either. I need to find a little more gumption and stand up for myself and be mindful of who I am allowing to “influence” me and my internal dialogue, cause, you know what! I’m worth it! Great post! Thanks Lovely!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      You’re SO welcome. Yes, how you allow yourself to be treated is says a lot. Promise. Start there.

      You have achieved amazing things since I’ve been reading your blog. Is it too cliché to say blossoming!?

  • seasidechik

    Mine is low. Real, real low at the moment. Normally I am quite in love with myself, but I am in a rut lately..

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Nothing worse than the rut feeling. Chin up. xo

  • Kat

    Great tips gorgeous as always.
    Thanks xo

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thank you muchly!

  • Thanks for this post today. I have taken time off work to be with the kids on school holidays this week, which is awesome and frustrating at the same time (lol) but am  also making the time to be kind to myself too. After all, a happy mum makes for a happy family.  I haven’t been so happy lately, but I am on a mission to turn all that around.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      This is so great. Enjoy your time with your kids and with yourself. You won’t regret either ever I’d bet. 🙂

  • Sommer

    Hmmm.  I don’t usually brag about it because it’s deemed “rude” but I am pretty much in love with myself lol.  I can’t say it was always this way but it’s definitely been a while since I can last recall night loving myself or my life.  Sure I have bad days like anyone but I just try to blame the kids for that haha!  One thing I had to learn a long time ago was to stop taking life so seriously.  As soon as I stopped letting the weight of the world rest on my shoulders I began to fly =)  Hmm maybe I’ll post about this on my blog too!  Xx

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      It’ll never be rude here! Promise. A healthy self-esteem is something to be proud of. I think you are SO right when you say it’s about taking life less seriously. It frees up all kinds of energy for self-loving. 🙂

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  • AshMmisforMe

    I had to come and read this after your “bordering on up myself” quote on Seven Cherubs! Thank-you for the inspiration today, it’s exactly what I need x

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Heehee. No really. It’s true. 😛
      Thank you. And you’re welcome.