I heard it explained once during a funeral service that only those who experience love ever have cause to mourn. That they are the blessed ones. The luckiest of people. I scoffed at the stupidity of it as I sniffled into a tissue. Fortunate to mourn. Pah. Loved and lost. Pffft. But the idea stayed with me over the following weeks and now as my family suffers the loss of one of my much loved cousins in a tragic accident it arises again.

We are the fortunate one’s, those of us that love enough to know the genuine pain of mourning. Today we ache and hurt with the pain of our loss. But we are comforted by the memories we share and by the proximity of those that we continue to hold close. We are comforted by the knowing that he knew how much he was loved while he was here. Do you do that enough? Let those around you know how much they are loved?

And for me, I have the comfort of writing, as I prepare a few words on behalf of his cousins. I am pondering, preparing, planning and crying. I think today I get our loss, as yesterday it seemed a surreal dream to wake in to. And as I write here I hope that my family will understand my need to share this private experience here. I hope that will see that this is a lesson. A pearl of wisdom too heartbreakingly real not to share.

A lesson learned through suffering and one you cannot truly fathom until you have felt the pain of loss. I know there are plenty of you out there who wear that badge. Those of you who really get it. You are marked with the sign of love and of mourning. So with a heart filled with love and sadness all at the one time I’m signing off.

Love. Love Big.

27/05/2011 – 11pm – Rewinding at the Fibro because in less than 12 hours we bury my Uncle. One of my Dad’s little brothers. Another too young. Too soon. A timely reminder.

  • Madmother

    My condolences, Melissa. We are never prepared to lose those we love.

  • I'm so sorry to hear that and am thinking of you and your family as you go through this awful time together.

  • So true – doesn't make it any easier though does it? I'm so sorry for your loss and am sure that your words will do your cousin's memory justice. xx

  • E.

    Thinking of you.

  • So sorry to hear of your family's loss. Its a surreal numb world we live in while the news sinks in but the love we bear those who we have lost stays in our hearts forever.

  • Linda Medrano

    I am so sorry about your family's loss. It's always so hard to cope with the loss of a loved one. I'm so glad you have each other at this time. God bless you all!

  • Ry

    I am so here right now as I walk the final days of a very loved family member who suffered a stroke. It is indeed an honour to suffer with her now and walk my own pain as we say goodbye. A huge reminder of being able to feel this depth of emotion, caring compassion and ultimately Love. Hugzs.Ry

  • Seana Smith

    Visiting from the Rewind and so sorry to hear of your losses. But a big loving family is a great blessing. Your lesson is so relevent for all of us.

  • Really beautifully written. And, as much as we hate to think it, those words are so true.So sorry for your loss. I hope time has begun healing your pain.

  • So sorry for your loss – both of them. It is a fortunate thing to have loved, but so difficult to remember in the midst of it all. How sad never to have known it though.Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.

  • I'm sorry for both of your losses, Mel. It's been a rough week in the blogging world, a few have lost loved ones. :(Will be thinking of you. This is a beautiful post, and I'm so glad you rewinded it.