Do you find yourself repeating the same mistakes, thinking the same things and even doing the same things over and over expecting a different result? Pretty sure there is a definition of craziness in there somewhere. Do you ever feel like you could doing anything if only it was easier? Or had more time? Or, you know, anything like that? 

Well I have been thinking about all of it as I cram my already full life with a full time job. I have been talking to a coach on the program I am participating in and she has been talking a lot about performance. As coaches often do.

According to her performance as a willingness to do whatever it takes, to go that extra mile and consider options that I had previously not even considered. To push through barriers, to go beyond… You get the point. VERY motivational and all but you know what I thought…?

Let’s not, and say we did. Clearly this girl (meaning me) is not in the mood for performance. But how can I not be in the mood for living an extraordinary life. I don’t think I am. Can I tell you a secret. I think I’m afraid. I’ve become very, very good at being the ‘quit before I reach the final whistle so I won’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work out’ variety of performance. I stop trying, so I won’t get hurt by failing.

But you know what, quitting and not trying, may just feel worse.

  • E.

    I think maybe I'm a afraid too. I figure if I don't start something I can stuff it up. Ummm… maybe there is something there I need to deal with. did I just admit that and in public? OMG off to hide now…

  • E. lol. I know how you feel, I just re-read this post myself and gagged a couple of times at me admitting all that in blogosphere. Don't hide, we love you!

  • In highschool I'd witten something very similar in my journal. I'd written that I was afraid of putting all my effort into something because if the final result wasn't perfect then I'd be embarrassed that the best I could do failed. My teacher's response went something along the lines of 'how would I ever know how good I can be if I'm not brave enough to give it my all?' I've learnt that NO ONE really cares about your failures (or success), they're too wrapped up in thier own lives. I'm not saying people are heartless and they don't care. I mean that the ones that matter care about YOU not your failings. Every successful person I know failed numerously but they just kept going and ignored the cynics. I've learnt to trust my own instincts…. I AM as good as I think I am, lol! 🙂 ……….(Sorry for going all 'motivational' it can get a bit much can't it? lol!)