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It happens all the time. It happened Friday, hi Sally! People run into me in the shops or just loitering about somewhere else and they think to themselves, hmm that looks like Suger maybe I should go say hi. Then they don’t. This post is pretty simple, I’m asking you to stop doing that if you would please. Ok weirdo? Haha.

Liv always says, and yes we plan to get t-shirts made, that we are just jerks with a keyboard. There’s nothing very special about us all. I understand that walking up to someone and saying “is that you?” is confronting because you don’t want to sound like you’re nuts. But just so you know, looking at me sideways for about 20 minutes is way more nuts looking.

I know this post sounds like the humblebrag of all humblebrags. Seriously, I just reread it and I’m like omg, really? Are you going to post this, it’s all “oh my goodness, people just get all blog star struck when they see me, blah, hair flicks, etc. I can’t help it if I’m awesome”. But it’s not a humblebrag I promise and even if it sounds very much like it is, it’s not. I get this all the time and it’s time we all let it go.

With ProBlogger coming up, I want to make sure you know that it’s ok to say hi when you see me. It’s very cool actually and unless you interrupt me on my way to the loo or the lunch tables, I’ll absolutely be up for a chat. Of course I’m going to be happy that you took the time to say hello. that said though, I want to set a couple of ground rules. Just for fun, ok?

When is it ok to say hello? Pretty much anywhere, anytime with the following exceptions. Funerals, always wait until the wake. Similarly, don’t yell oh hi Suger at someone’s wedding, it IS their day after all. And please don’t interrupt me making out with my husband or follow me to the bathroom. Wait outside like a normal person and pounce while my hands are still damp from washing them. That damp hands thing refers to the bathroom, not making out. FYI.

So you’d like to Instagram us hanging out? Firstly, that’ll cost you $5. I take cash or paypal. If it’s photo time, you had better prepare yourself to be directed just like I would my hubby for the blog photos. We will move toward the light, adjust the height and distance of the photo taking device and I’ll, of course, recommend a filter. You can ignore my choice and call me a diva later if you like, that’s fine with me.

You spot me and I’m talking, then what? Please wait until I’m finished to say hello. Or find a way to distract me so you can slip into the conversation. Something along the lines of Travis in Clueless at the Val party would work. That was pretty impressive, I’m happy to stop what I’m doing for that.

You’re furiously taking notes, what’s next? Most of all know I’m trying to be funny and there are no rules. Snort. You should know me by now. Come and say hello, use the manners your mother gave you and we’ll be fine. I’m not scary, I am rather tall and large in real life and usually in heels so I’m a wee bit intimidating, I guess. But mostly prepare yourself for the over-sharing, fast talking, awkward that IS me, okay?

I’ll see you around.

Which will be a nice change because the lurking in the background thing usually means I don’t get to meet anyone… They just look at me strangely from a distance which leaves me wondering if my skirt is tucked in my knickers or I have kale in my teeth. So let’s do this thing, ok?