I was just staring at this page for a really, really long time. I yawned a little. Stared off into the distance at nothing in particular. I know that because I was wearing my glasses and things get a little blurry off in the distance with them on. Nothing was there. It was lovely. A quiet moment of silence. And then, it was gone. By having the thought the silence had disappeared.
I was back. Back in my seat. Back surrounded by bustling people. There’s a metaphor or something there about not knowing what you’ve got until it’s gone. Or taking time to smell the roses or something. I’m not sure I’m in a very good position to elaborate. I’m not even sure it needs to be elaborated on. It was there and once I realised it was there, it was gone. Today the silence was a break from the running commentary in my head. A welcomed and much-needed break.
The nothing, the silence is lovely. The negative commentary in your head, is not. It’s a bit the same though. Sometimes I find myself sitting there having a go at myself. Silly. Pointless. Lazy. Boring. Guilty. Sneaky. Cheat! And then I hear it. I notice it. And it’s gone. Until I listen for what it’s saying, it’s just there. I think you have problems when you don’t notice it. When it just runs like a bad cd in the background of your life. Forming your view of things, of people and especially of yourself. You might not even realise that it’s full of it after a while. Or worse you could agree with it!
But don’t do that, it’s a jerk, really.
No, really, it is.
Hope for moments of silence.