{image via we heart it}

It’s been dawning on me lately {to steal from dearest Dorothy} that we ain’t in Kansas anymore… And why, I hear you ask..? Excellent, well observed question, says I. Well it is because I think, it only just occurred to me that this is real life and I’m a grown up. Or growing up. Or older at very least. I don’t know what I thought I was doing but it kinda took me by surprise.

You see I already though of myself as a grown up. I have a home with a mortgage. I have a hubby with the requisite urges for children. I have a job, a career and a business. I pay taxes, I have a super fund (401K or something to the Americans out there) and I vote. We are even talking pets. Fencing the yard than pets. All, I am sure you agree, are very grown up pursuits.

But it wasn’t until I started watching people who are my age on to their third and forth child/husband/country that I thought. Maybe I hadn’t taken this seriously. This grown up thing. Maybe I wasn’t quite there yet. And then I was told about a couple I know. We used to be really close friends. They used to be so in love. They were married just after us. Together for over 7 years. And she, it turns out, has left and is not coming home. It’s over. And I realised…

That’s something people my parents age do. And it occurred to me that I have a mere 6 months remaining until I am the very age that my mother was when she gave birth to me. And that we are my parents age. Or that I am now, that age that I have always thought of my parents as being. Strange. How did that happen? Where did those years go from when I was a kid playing in the sand looking at my parents and thinking how unfailing and unstoppable they seemed. To now. Whoooosh. Flying past and gone.

And then I thought. Oh my goodness. My mother was my age when she had me. She must have been freaking out in a similar way to what I am about the chance of me being a mother. She would have had no idea what to expect. Or what to do. Or how to do it. Knowing my mother she would have chewed her nails and demand Dad tell her what the plan was. And than, she would have done it her own way anyhow. And Dad, well he would have loved her for that.

And then, I got really calm. If they can do it. So darn successfully. Then the worst case scenario, if I am completely stuffing it all up, my life and my unborn (actually unconceived) children, my relationship and my everything is… I’ll just figure it out. Whatever will be, will be. {Oh gosh, I feel a song coming on} There’s a freedom in that, don’t you think? Come to think of it. I think I may have just cured myself of my I-need-to-know-how-it’s-going-to-turn-out-way-before-I-even-try-ness. Phew. that’s a relief. I’ve been carrying that one around for decades.

Breakthrough moment! Hurrah.

{how the bloody hell do you spell hoo-rah!?}

So tell me, if you please, the exact moment you realised that you were a grown up.

No looking back, the only way from here is forward, grown up.

And what you saw for yourself in that flashing moment of brilliance.

I, for one, would love to know.

Really, truly, I would.

And yes, it really is 1.45am. Breakthrough moments can happen anytime, excuse me.

Nighty night.

  • toushka

    I think having a child made me realise, not only that I was a grown up but that my parents were never as "grown up" as I thought.And that infact we are all just overgrown kids trying to figure it all out. or something like that.

  • Kakka

    Funny how you suddenly get to the age your parents are (were) and go OMG.

  • But why should you be talking pets when you could HAVE talking pets? 😀 They are just so much fun!

  • Oh, and not to mention less yard clean-up for SURE.

  • I am still waiting…

  • Mel, I was 6. How bad is that. You do not even want to know how I got there.

  • Not sure when it happened exactly, but it was recently that I realized that I used to think people in their 30s were so OLD. And now I'm here.

  • Glad I'm not the only one who feels like my 20s have flown by and a profound realization of my own mortality has creapt up on me. Somewhere along the line we became women… xoxoxo

  • Well, in one sense, I was always middle aged. I clearly remember pondering things a 5 year old should never consider – God, the meaning of life, yada yada.But did have a "Whoa" moment when we had Samuel, our youngest. We found ourselves suddenly with 2 children and that felt scary, all of a sudden.

  • River

    I haven't grown up yet. I'm just a big kid. In spite of the 4 kids, 5 grandkids thing.

  • Vicki

    Call me Peter Pan but I don't think I will ever grow up. I like teenager shoes better.

  • Emma

    Yes, I kept referring to 'the other year' to talk about my highschool days, until it recently dawned on me that this was indeed over 10 years ago now! Eeek!

  • I realised I was a grown up when I turned 30. I had two kids. Husband. House. Friends. Responsibilities. 30 to me used to be so old. Now I am 32. It gets a bit scary doesn't it!?

  • Ahhh. The sound of a resounding yes, we've been {or are} there. Gosh I love blogging.Happy Sunday guys and girls.

  • lol! Occassionally I think I'm all grown up & other times I decide that, 'stuff it' I don't want the responsibilty anymore and I realize that it's all just pretend. Adulthood I mean… My Mum has always told me that we never really change on the inside…. just one day we look in the mirror and wonder 'who's that old person is staring back at me?' …..