1380828_10151732617261229_1253772759_n

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I have the best family in the world. We work hard to get along, hang out together and try our best to get over upsets quickly so it doesn’t drag out. It’s great. I grew up with extended family around me, cousins coming out my ears and I loved it. I find my centre when I have my family nearby. No one makes me laugh harder, shout louder or care more.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I have the best family in the world. We work hard to get along, hang out together and try our best to get over upsets quickly so it doesn’t drag out. It’s great. I grew up with extended family around me, cousins coming out my ears and I loved it. I find my centre when I have my family nearby. No one makes me laugh harder, shout louder or care more.

This thought occurred to me as I sat, smiling across the trampoline yesterday afternoon at my Hubby. My brother and his wife on my left. Their daughter in his lap. My sister, her partner and child on my right. My Dad pushing my other nephew on the swing. Life’s good. Family matters. More than any passing concern. There is very little that my parents or siblings could do that would make me give moments like that up for long.

And it reminds me that I want that for myself. Something I had started to shrug off and declare old news. I want to be a part of that as the next generation grows and comes together. I want my piece in the puzzle there on that trampoline. I used to want three or fours kids, did you know that? These days I’d take one happily. I used to think boys would be the best. Now you won’t see me being choosy about something so insignificant as the sex of a baby.

I’m proud to say that trying {and failing} to have a baby have made me a better person. I think you have no choice actually. When you have to find grace in the worst of circumstances and you do, then you are forever changed by that. When you stare desperate loss in the face and find a way to smile gently, you’ll never step back into old habits and demands no matter how hard you try.

Do I think you can learn these lessons other ways? Yes. Sure. Of course. But I wonder sometimes if I would have. Stubborn and often selfish I think it takes something to shift you. Something big. Something like being born into a family of prolific breeders and being a total fail at it yourself. Who would have thought we would still be here trying. Still in love. Still surrounded by family. Still doing the same things expecting different results.

Not me. That’s for sure. I was always pretty darn good at getting what I wanted.

Hi! I’m Suger and I’m the Chief Blogger here. I make stuff for the internet. Which means I take photos, build websites, write copy and create social media plans for people. This is my blog where I share my life and the things that interest me. It’s been living its best life on the interwebs since 2009.