Me, I’m a big fan of the snooze button. But that’s getting ahead of myself. I wanted to talk the art and the timing and the strategy that is the snooze button. Ahhh. Snooze. My old friend. I love the snooze button like a hormonal woman loves chocolate {Facebook studies conclude, this is A LOT}.  There’s an art to snoozing. A fine line between waking up feeling you had an an extra 10, 30 or 40 minutes of sleep and feeling like hell. So let the master tell you.

Firstly. The snooze period must be between 5 and 9 minutes. Any longer and you’re asleep again properly and will wake up grumpy and annoyed. You know, again. This allows for that lovely time of drifting. You all must know the time when you are dozing off to sleep and you dream of crazy, wonderful things. Swirling colourful clouds and ex-boyfriends who meet an untimely demise but who loved you SO much they left you their vast fortune in their will, along with a final declaration of love type letter. And in the dream you think of him fondly, while enjoying your super yacht. THAT sort of weird and wonderful type mini dream.

Secondly. There are three main stages to snoozing. The nap, the drift and the Facebook. The first stage, you really are just snoozing because you literally can’t open your eyes. The drift is when you spend the snooze period drifting in and out of sleep. The Facebook is when you’re awake, checking the news on Facebook from the warmth and comfort of your bed. The ultimate snooze requires all these stages. Skip them at your own peril.

And finally, the end of days, simply must get out of bed time and how to choose it. For this step it is essential to know how long it takes you to go from sort of groggy to awake and wonderful at your desk. For me. It’s 23 minutes and not a second shorter. I have, have to be out of bed and moving by 23 minutes to my start time or I won’t make it. Or I’ll arrive with no make-up, sleep in my eye and people will generally roll their eyes at me and ask, are you awake there?

And that, my friends, is the ultimate snooze strategy. Not just MY ultimate snooze strategy, THE ultimate snooze strategy. You’re welcome.

Do you snooze?

Hubby doesn’t. He hates it.

image credit – Tegan Maree Photography featuring my nephew Declan. Cutie head.