I was watching the Channel Ten news. I’m pretty sure it was the national news. It was about 5.40pm last night. And on the screen comes the announcement that women today are being too fussy. The Catolic church suggests settling down with Mr Good Enough before all the decent guys are gone. There’s a man drought, apparently.

Way to perpetuate the panic Mr Catholic church.

The program went on to discuss that most {generalising, yeah, probably} women felt their husbands were a fixer-uper type project anyway. Why not start with the man you are with? Why? Because if I’ve learnt anything about people in the years I’ve been on this planet, it’s that while people with grow and mature and want more for themselves, their core values rarely change.

Mr Good Enough may always be Mr Good Enough.

Now, I think I can see where they are going with this. I don’t think it’s ok to wait for a perfect person. I don’t think there are perfect people. There are perfect matches. Some days. Most days your relationship is going to take work. It can be a bit of a rude shock for people to find that they are lying next to someone who isn’t perfect. But that’s on you, not them.

I once broke up with a guy because he couldn’t remember my middle name! I’m thinking that is probably what Mr Catholic church was talking about. But seriously, that was a symptom of the relationship being bad, not the cause of the break up. Should I have kept him around because he had a job, ambition, was reasonably good looking and was mostly kind?

Knowing what I know now, no way. But there’s a fine line, I think. A line between wanting great things from your relationship and wanting an unobtainable fairytale.

Is it the Fairytale or Mr Good Enough for you?

  • CassandraHodges

    Oh… I saw someone ranting about this on the facebook last night.  I spent years waiting for my night in shining armour to ride in on his great steed, throw me over his shoulder and the two of us ride away into the sunset!  It was only recently that I realised that I’m too heavy to be thrown over some poor buggers’ shoulder!  

    I’ve always been rather independant, so waiting for my prince to come along was never that much of an issue… my friends couldn’t understand how I could live on my own for so long… but I wasn’t ready to settle for “he’ll do”.  
    I’ve found “My Man the Muso” now… and we will live happily ever after once I’ve persuaded him to write a love song for me! 😀

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thanks for sharing. Wishing you and My Man the Muso lots of luck and love songs. 🙂

  • Serialstyler

    My husband & I were lucky enough to fall in love in high school, that meant we had a lot of growing up to do & we learned the hard way. That’s my fairytale. My mum however has been in & out of relationships since her divorce in the early 90’s. She is happy in or out of a relationship. She knows the pro’s & con’s of being in a relationship. She gets lonely sometimes & Mr GoodEnough comes & leaves, but I would prefer she was single because I know she is happy without Mr GoodEnough. And I know if her prince came along she would know it. 

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I think that’s it, isn’t it. If women see something, the connection they aren’t going to let it go because of a check list or otherwise. Thanks for sharing.

  • Talesofataitai

    I definitely agree with you – relationships take work, sacrifice, compromise. But as long as the good days outweigh the bad, you’re sorted. I think the older women get, the less they are willing to give men a go. They need to be ticking a certain amount of boxes before they’ll even get a chance. It’s a tough one. No right answer. As you say, it’s perfect matches, not Mr Perfect…

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I think this is where old mate was coming from. But as usual, such hype and telling people what to do.

  • I don’t believe in fairy tales – don’t get me wrong I’d love for Mr Perfect to come in and sweep me off my feet, and let’s face it I’m sure all the men out there would love for Miss Perfect to turn up at their door too. Life simply isn’t a fairytale no matter how much we want it to be. I’m not perfect, so how can I expect the man I choose to spend the rest of my life with to be? I think there are a lot of unrealistic expectations out there though. I am just as guilty as the next person for that in former years, but as I get older and as I know myself more I am understanding more the type of man who would be a great partner for me. I think there is a big gap between choosing someone who is compatible and less than perfect, and settling though. However the REAL question is where is my future Mr, whether he be perfect or not?? 😉

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I’ve seen your future Mr. I dreamt a few weeks ago I was at your wedding. You were wearing a similar coloured dress to the one Dani wore at her wedding. A different style though. Mr whether he be perfect or not is fab by the way. Danced the night away. 😉

      But that said, thanks so much for sharing. It’s so true. There is a BIG difference between being realistic and settling.

      • LOL NO WAY! Really? How amazing.. and bizarre! Let’s see how long it takes for that to come true! 😛

        • Melissa Walker Horn

          Absolutely random. It started out at the reception, before the b&g got there. I was dancing to the waiting music. {Probably drunk, let’s face it} Havign a merry old time. Then hey presto, there you were.  

          So start the clock my friend. And you absolutely need to wear that colour whenever the wedding. So it all comes true. Promise? 😛

          • Not sure if I can promise that exact colour, but the dress may not necessarily be white!

  • Jeanei

    I saw the promo for that the other day and instantly turned to my husband and said if we had followed that advice we would’ve been married to other people before we even met. We’ve only been married for 3 years. We were late to the game on the marriage front. So glad I didn’t settle for will do (which I almost did but ran a mile).

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Well, I’m glad you got the Hubby you got. I think you know the person that you want to settle down with, and fingers crossed they feel the same way. If they do, BINGO.

  • Kelsbells

    I have the fairy tale, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t without problems. We aren’t even a year in yet and we have gone through some MASSIVE stuff. Psychological kinda stuff, counsellor seeing kinda stuff. The not so common stuff. And you know what? Even with that I still have a fairy tale because without the hard times I wouldn’t appreciate the good times. The times when I want to cry over how much I love him, and how much he loves me. The fairy tale exists, but just remember every story has to have a turning point to provide a happy ending to!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I love this! Yes, people forget that usually in fairy tales someone’s been banished to the woods, or up against something horrible. And then, the magic happens.

      Thinking of you and what you’re dealing with. I hope you come out the other side soon.

  • You know, I looked at that Catholic priest warble on about choosing a marraige partner and I thought…What on EARTH would you know about it?? Honestly…

    I think you are right on the money. I think that idiot priest should have resisted the urge toward publicity.

    xx

  • Erin_myers

    Hi Suger,
    I stopped here to post a comment because this post pertains to a most vitally important aspect of my life right now. I recently broke up my boyfriend of many years (8 years and 6 months with one year apart before the last 6 months of us). It has been almost two months since the dreaded event occurred. We have both closed the doors on it so to speak. Made our peace with it and each other and have decided to remain friends. I have to admit, listening to him say “I have accepted it, and I am ready to let go” ” as long as you’re happy” .. sent me in to fits of tears, fits and sobbing, and makeup melting. I waited a long month to hear those words. Long story short here… I’m getting a bit carried away. Sorry.  I am now in the land of singles. Yikes. I have to say that what you have put out in to the world rings true! Why are we told to settle? To find Mr.Good Enough instead of Mr.Husband. Let’s face it Mr.Perfect doesn’t exist, so Mr.Husband will be a fitting replacement. Mr.Husband has all the qualities we want and we love him for it, but we are not naive, and we know he will never be perfect. We love him anyways and he loves us just the way we are. I won’t be settling for good enough any time soon. 

     I just spent the better part of an hour pouring through your posts ( I can’t sleep, it’s 1:45 in the AM my time) I found a link to your blog on another page I read 
    http://www.waituntilthesunset.com/. She is amazing also 🙂 
    I just have to say I have fallen in love with your blog. You are hilarious, and heartfelt and just all around amazing. Reading your blog is like a great conversation with a close friend. 
    Reading some posts, I stop to wonder ” can she read my mind?”, it’s eerie to come across someone who thinks alike. Greats minds do. 🙂 I will definitely be reading on. 

    Cheers lady! and Happy Writing. 
    Lots of Love, 
    Erin – http://adventuresofshrinkingerin.blogspot.ca/

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thank you so much Erin. Sorry to hear of your recent break up. That’s so hard, I cannot imagine. And you’re so right. Husbands {nor Wives} are never perfect.

      Enjoy poking around. I hope you got some sleep at some stage. See you around the traps. xo