I sit here. This Friday night. Having a few drinks but still being drawn to the world of blogs and twitter and facebook. I am drawn to the updates. I am waiting for news. From the vivacious Lori, for news of her husbands condition. I watch the post over at Danimezza’s place where she proudly shows us her new swimmers. Unedited. And then I visit Miss Ruby where she has been hit with a barage of negativity and nastiness that she feels it is necassary to unpublish almost her entire blog.
And it gets me thinking… 
For all the support I see for bloggers. Where did it go when it came to Miss Ruby’s post? The support we are so proud to be a part of can quickly turn into agressive, negative comments. And I wonder about that. When a blogger expresses themselves. Bares their sole. What right do YOU have to attack them? Just because thier view is different to yours, who says you are right. Correct. Or whatever..!?
And yes, I know there are some of you that feel totally justified saying your bit and making your point. But have you ever put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Even for a minute. There is a real person behind that blog. A person who took the time to share themselves with you. So before you hit publish on your comment you should be pretty damn sure it is worth injuring another person to send it.
This is real remember.
And Suger Coat It has never really been a place of controversy. But then, neither is my life. I am pretty live and let live about most things. I don’t believe in trying to convert others to my thinking. I believe that we all lead by example by living our best life.
So what say you? Do you think the right to respond is more important than treating each other with respect? Have you ever posted a comment or post that you were ashamed of later? I’d be interested to know.  
*This post is blogged on a computer without spell check. I know. Like the dark ages, right!? Sorry about that. I never claimed to be able to spell.

  • Danimezza

    On Tuesday night, at 2am I wrote a post and it was horrible. I voiced all my gripes and issues and was bitchy and mean and said all the things I shouldn't have said… then I deleted it and went to bed. I woke up the next day on a brighter note.My point is, no matter who you are or how polite you can be in a general sense, people are going to get pissy, some just don't deal with it respectfully.I loved this post, thanks for the mention x

  • Keshia

    If you don't like it, don't read it. Simple.If it is something that you feel strongly about, and 'need' to leave a comment it can ALWAYS be done in a way that is not nasty. Most bloggers I know are willing to listen to others opinions even if they do differ greatly from there own, but nastiness not needed.

  • You know I'm a pretty outspoken person and there are PLENTY of people who disagree with me and vice versa and that is FINE.I have no problem with people leaving comments on my blog with a differing view, opinion to what I've posted but I struggle with the nastiness.I don't get why people need to be nasty. And especially nasty in response to a post that was written out of sadness for people I CARE about and their inability to enjoy something so many do every day without a care in the world.What hurt more than the nastiness was the belittling of my situation, of my losses, of my sadness, my grief and being told that really they were insignificant and I had no experience on the subject with which I was writing, when in fact I have more experience than most – unfortunately.I did almost delete my blog but something stopped me in my sobbing crazed state at midnight last night, so instead I individually unpublished 140 posts [damn blogger – they need to come up with an easy way to do that!] – after all the sharing I'd done, the personal, raw, emotional posts – it didn't feel right to have them "out there" anymore. This morning I was glad that I hadn't deleted them.Will they go back up? I don't know, at this moment in time no, whether that will change or not I don't know.Jeeez this has turned into an essay, I'm sorry – it's just this "event" has made me really question alot and upset me a great deal.THANKYOU for the words on my blog and for this post, you're right, you can always disagree with someone but I think the judgement and nastiness need to be left out – there is just no need for it.~x~

  • Kathryn

    My rule for commenting is that I wouldn't make a comment on a blog that I wouldn't be comfortable saying to the person's face. Simple.

  • I've never understood why the heck people feel the need to get nasty over what someone posted in their personal blog. If you don't like it, don't read it! I appreciate constructive criticism, and if there's misinformation presented or whatever in the blog, feel free to point it out. But getting mean and going on a rampage over differing opinions? RIDICULOUS. I've had a few not-nice comments on my blog, a few years ago, which is why I set it up so I get to read through the comments before they're published. Anyway, that's my opinion on the matter…

  • Thanks for sharing this, Melissa. It caused me to wander on over and visit Miss Ruby's place as I'd never been before. What a great place it is! It's honest. It's real. It's what a blog should be. It's her place and she has the right to say whatever the heck she wants to. People have the right to comment, sure, but noone has the right to be nasty and mean and so self-focussed. It's her house. If they don't like it there then leave. Simple! I so hope she re-publishes every single one of the 140 she's unpublished, mainly because it's her blog and why should she get rid of those posts but also because I want to read them!! I so hope that your post has given readers something to really think about. I also hope it gives Miss Ruby lots more traffic!! Hopefully that will be enough to encourage her to keep on keeping on and put all of those posts back where they should be, in their rightful home at Miss Ruby.

  • I completely agree with you one this one.I had a moment on controversary on my blog ages ago. I don't know what happened on Miss Ruby's blog, I need to start visiting there!!!It is awful leaving nasty comments. And it's worse when people blog about you and your post without your knowledge…that happened to me.Some people just don't do respect, in real life as well I'm willing to bet.

  • I do not comment on posts I do not agree with. Plain and simple. I read them and I respect their opinion, but I do not feel inclined to comment. It interests me that there are those out there that do. I did post one thing on my blog that I regretted. A very bad joke that was rude to a certain group and in very poor taste. I feel bad for the two followers I lost because my lack of judgement. But they were right.

  • I am very careful about anything I write anywhere on the net. I think that is my nature. I feel sorry for Miss Ruby. Particularly as some of the nasty comments were anonymous which is a way of disagreeing that is beyond gutless. If you are ashamed of putting your name/identity to what you are saying then it is safe to say it is something you should not be saying.

  • I think people forget that there is a difference between disagreeing with someones opinion and disagreeing with the entire person. Also some people have trouble being able to find the words to write their opinion and revert to simple and childish attacks. Some people are simple pathetic trolls and get off on the misery and bite backs of others. Some people are just assholes. Full stop. The internet is filled with the same people as the real world, cept people get brave on the net because they see words on a screen, not a person. It's easier to disconnect from being polite and respectful when there isn't a real person in front of you. My theory is, if people are actually confident in their opinion and who they are, they won't attack and resort to lower nastiness. I feel sorry for those whose life is so pathetic that they hide behind their keyboard to attack other people in a such a childish way.

  • I can't stand the way that happens sometimes. What goes wrong? You are good to post about this stuff and get a conversation going. x

  • I don't know what happened as I am not reading Miss Ruby's blog, maybe i should.I feel I am still only new to the Aussie chick/mum blog community, but the things I see happening are not new on the internet. the outpour of compassion and even concrete help towards Lori is very respectable and certainly mostly positive, and I truly just hope it stays like that too. sometimes people do acts of charity more for themselves than for the actual concerned…but even that's still ok.some people get trolls on their blogs, nasty stalkers and the like. the fewer attention they'll get, the sooner they're gone mostly. but then you have people who out of the (relative) anonymity of the internet seem to feel tickled for some reason to go out and destroy people with incredible cruelty. these people can do great damage especially to bloggers who blog with intensity and candor about very personal things, people who are already vulnerable. gratuitous, anonymous comments should not touch us, but they can, and they do. we don't need to know why this is happening, or who is really behind it, we just need to know that it is happening. My first public blog has already become much more personal than I thought it would be, but I think I'll always keep my guards up for this very reason. In an ideal world, yes, we could all have our blogs and be nice to each other. But that does not happen in real life either.good reminder for all of us.

  • Love this post. It's real and unfortunately it happens. Poor Miss Ruby. I felt that the post that started it all was a fabulous post. And I didn't feel it was written to offend anyone. Obviously it hit a nerve with someone with a grudge and thus the after effects. Not nice.I have never intentionally sent a nasty comment. The joys of blogging is that there is time to think about your response and put it in the nicest way possible. All that time to consider before hitting the 'send' button. Same goes with my posts. I think before posting anything – is this going to offend people? Is it sensitive to people's needs? Of course, some things are going to offend somewhere, but as long as we are all adult about it, it can be fabulous fodder and food for thought.Good on you for posting this. You're touching on the real issues of blogging. xx

  • Cath

    This is a really good point… We do put ourselves "out there". We are real people. And we thrive on comments and people reading what we write. The world needs more love, not nastiness and pettiness. So far I have been lucky and only received positive thoughts and comments. Thank goodness. I think nasty comments would have me swallowed back up into a hole. Thank you for sharing this post and reminding us of how important it is to think about what we say. (Dropping by from the Fibro)

  • I think it's a big bloggy world, and if I don't agree with something someone has written I just click away somewhere else. I've never felt compelled to argue with someone in the comments section – if I did want to start a debate for whatever reason, I would leave my name to promote a genuine discussion rather than pissing and moaning under the tag 'anon'.I agree with the comments above – do in blogland as you do in real life, and you'll be fine.Interesting post. (Love your wallpaper.)

  • I re-read this one via the Fibro, Melissa. Your words are so true. I think we do put ourselves out there and should expect that others will have a differing opinion. That's all okay. But to be nasty and personal and rude about a differing opinion? That's not okay at all. x

  • tinsenpup

    I have to agree with others here. If I really don't like something that I read on a blog, I just go elsewhere without wasting my time commenting. I can't understand intentional nastiness either. I can only guess that people who choose that road have other things going on in their lives that effect the way they relate to others.

  • Great post Melissa. I didn't see the post on Miss Ruby's blog, but I do believe that people forget their manners online sometimes. They forget that there are real people with real feelings at the other end when they press 'submit comment'. I wish they wouldn't.Thanks for REwinding at the Fibro.