So, confession, even though I dislike pretty much all that Beiber stands for (stood? Who the heck can tell what’s media hype and what’s an actual asshole in sheep’s clothing) when it came to the new album, I loved it. Like WAY more than I would ever have expected to. But why share this? WELL. There’s this one song called I’ll Show You that I love.
The lyrics say “I’ve got to learn things, learn them the hard way…” and I was just like, THAT is SOOOOOO me. Me, I have to learn things the hard way. As in, over and over and over again before they stick. I have to throw myself on the rocks that are that lesson a billion times before it sticks.
I worry about me sometimes.
I think that makes me a slow learner.
In the past, I’ve talked a lot about my battles with impatience and our struggles to conceive. About how I felt like I was being taught a lesson in patience and not getting what I wanted when I wanted it. I’m not sure I believe that anymore, but it made sense at the time. But what I know is that it took something for me to learn that lesson. And it HURT.
I took the hard way.
Butting my head up against my tendency to be impatient over and over again I found that my lesson was never learned. Not really. I’d find myself with something just out of my reach, and I’d be back at square one. My head softened. My will softened. But I’m not sure I learned a lot about everything in its own time or waiting for my turn. I think maybe what I learnt was that I need to let go, to stop forcing things, to allow SOME things to happen in the way they do.
And can I share with you right now how many broken hearts, scraped knees and sore heads I’ve head learning that? SO MANY. But I feel like the person I am is better for it. Sure, there was probably an easier way I could have reached this same point, but meh. What fun is THAT anyway? And now, at least, it has finally sunk in. You know, probably.
Do you do that? The learn things the hard way thing? What’s the lesson that you learn and learn and learn, I’d love for you to share it with me? Or maybe you’re a Beiber fan too, let’s commiserate. Haha.