I know I am supposed to be ashamed, or at least a little embarrassed about my body, but I’m not. That’s the word one the street. Being fat means you’re lazy, slow, stupid {what the?} so I should be ashamed. But I’m none of those things. I’m fat, that’s all. Right now my body is what it is and isn’t what it isn’t. I wanted to make that very clear as I don’t want to contribute to any the only way for fat people to be happy is to lose weight thing that exists out there.

And just FYI, even at my fittest and smallest in my life {not healthiest but that’s another story} people still called me fat. I was still the height I am now, I still had size 11 feet and I still wore a solid 14-16. In their eyes, I was fat. They were wrong, but that doesn’t matter now. There’s a long way between here and there. A big wide gap of fatness. A scale of fatness, if that makes sense.

I think body love goes a long way to success in this sort of endeavour. I am proud of what I have so far from my efforts at the gym, proud of my body for adapting and changing along the way to accommodate what, for me, is a psychological issue. I’m proud it hung in there while I did what I did.Β And now it’s time to show it the love. Eat whole, clean foods, exercise and take a few more deep breaths outside. Will being thinner make me a better person? Doubtful. Will it make me anything other than smaller? No, I don’t think so.

The one thing that will happen is I’ll lose weight. I won’t be smarter, nicer or more loveable. I’ll just be thinner.

That is all.

  • Love love love this! Thinner doesn’t make you a better person. There are a lot of skinny bitches out there πŸ™‚

  • Beautiful post.

  • Gayel Stewart-Airs

    I am a smaller size person but my self esteem towards my body stinks!!..I love your fashion posts because you are an everyday woman complete with perfect imperfections, wearing up to date clothes… Be sure to nurture your body Suger but being skinnier doesnt make you more awesome I promise. You are already where many of us need to be on our self esteem road. Xx

  • an inspiring post

  • Yay to that!

  • Sarah White

    So true! The only thing that happens when you lose weight is that you get smaller. All the rest is just attitude which can be changed at any time.

    Treating our amazing bodies well is the best way to show them love. Weight changes are just the side effect.

    • This whole journey started with you, you know Sarah. The way you think about food and your way of eating is an inspiration to me. Helped plant a seed to a whole new attitude for me.

  • sheribombblog

    Yes, yes, yes and yes.

  • Great post Melissa…. This is something I grapple with a lot.

  • Jen

    Love love this post. I have gained, lost, gained 100 lbs. I was the same person at each weight just thinner. When I lose the weight again, I will be the person.

    • Thanks Jen. It’s true. Unless you are doing work on mindset or attitude or something in conjunction. Weight loss is just weight loss. {Or gain for that matter}

  • If only the whole world would think like this, shape doesn’t matter!! health and hapiness is all that matters πŸ™‚

  • Suger my dear, you are simply gorgeous. When I look at you I do not see a “fat” woman, instead I see a glow that radiates off of you and honestly you look healthy. You look happy and like you feel great and your body is getting everything it needs.
    I love that YOU love yourself. Being skinny doesn’t mean that you will love yourself. Looking a certain way….it doesn’t guarentee jack shit. Those who are trying to tear you down? They are seeing that gorgeous inner beauty that is reflected on the outside and they are jealous. Fuck them. Keep being beautiful.

    • Thank you Miss Pink! That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me today {luckily, I’m pretty blessed when it comes to people saying nice things to me}. I love this comment and not just because it’s ridiculously complimentary. It’s so true. It takes practice to love yourself. Regardless of size/weight/height/etcfreakingetc. Great addition to the post. Thank you! xo

  • Sarah @ Different Dog

    What a lovely post! I’m feeling rather large myself…after two kids in my late thirties I just had no energy and my metabolism is slow to nil! My eldest daughter is getting married in 6 weeks so I decided to exercise and found T-Tapp. It’s easy and it is working. It’s making me FEEL thinner inside too…not caring what anyone says about my outside. Plus it’s more about inches and not pounds. The hard part now is finding a dress for the wedding and feeling good! As I get older I worry less about what people think…but I want my daughter to be proud! I wrote a post about finding the perfect little black dress if anyone wants to check my resources! I’ll be reading more posts too! http://differentdogblog.blogspot.com/2012/07/in-search-of-little-black-dress.html

    • Good luck with your dress search! Don’t forget to check out Virtu, they have some gorgeous dresses and stock a reasonable size 14. Thanks for commenting. It adds a lot. πŸ™‚

  • Thank you. And absolutely. Thank you for the support!

    For me, I justify it because I don’t want to undermine the message that you should be proud of who you are. Full stop.

  • Mumabulous

    So you should be proud. You’re a gorgeous lady. Stick to your diet and exercise regime for the way it makes you feel and no other reason.
    Love to you
    Mumabulous

  • Cassandra (@ LittleOliverJ)

    You should be proud! Health before beauty. You can’t look pass the health that comes with exercise and healthy eating, even if you don’t become skinny you will become healthy. I’m currently 30 kg down from my biggest, and the only way I was able to do it was to truly focus on my health before my image.

    • I love this. I think you are absolutely correct, it has to be about health. You can be full of healthy food and exercising from day one. you can’t be skinner that day. I may never be slim enough to be considered acceptable. EVER. And that’s much too long for me to wait. πŸ˜‰