I used to care what other people wore, or how nice their hair is or where they got their shoes from. I used to argue my point of view until I was breathless and angry and upset and angry. Yes. Double angry. I was a fighter. I felt like my entire life was made up of defending myself, my ideas and demanding the world look like I do. Think like I do. Be like me. Luckily I got older and got over it. And my Mum said that I had to before I had no one left to fight with. Got over it, that was it.

You can be a stand for something without removing someone else’s right to believe what they believe. Sure, there are still things I think people have no right to believe but hey, that’s my right. It’s freeing the realisation that you don’t have to MAKE people do anything. I find I actually have more success now getting my point of view across then I ever did. My willingness to listen, to hear all sides and to enter the conversation makes what I have to say more valid, it seems. When I stopped fighting. Stopped shaming. Stop pushing and pulling. When I just was.

When there was nothing.

I was moderately serene.

There was space for people to listen to me. And me to them.

I got old. I think.

I got zen.

Now I’m a lover, not a fighter and I’m much happier for it!