I used to care what other people wore, or how nice their hair is or where they got their shoes from. I used to argue my point of view until I was breathless and angry and upset and angry. Yes. Double angry. I was a fighter. I felt like my entire life was made up of defending myself, my ideas and demanding the world look like I do. Think like I do. Be like me. Luckily I got older and got over it. And my Mum said that I had to before I had no one left to fight with. Got over it, that was it.

You can be a stand for something without removing someone else’s right to believe what they believe. Sure, there are still things I think people have no right to believe but hey, that’s my right. It’s freeing the realisation that you don’t have to MAKE people do anything. I find I actually have more success now getting my point of view across then I ever did. My willingness to listen, to hear all sides and to enter the conversation makes what I have to say more valid, it seems. When I stopped fighting. Stopped shaming. Stop pushing and pulling. When I just was.

When there was nothing.

I was moderately serene.

There was space for people to listen to me. And me to them.

I got old. I think.

I got zen.

Now I’m a lover, not a fighter and I’m much happier for it!

  • I kind of needed to read this right now. Thanks <3

  • Kimmie

    A big YES! ;]

  • My wife and I have a great saying now, and it makes life so much better, if we can’t see the others point of view on something, after a while one of us will say ” I beg to differ!” and that’s like, all done and move on.

  • Jen R

    Can tots relate to this !

  • Mumabulous

    For me the ability to an issue or problem from all angles is a sign of wisdom. Also the art of disagreeing respectfully is severely under rated, particularly online. Hope you are having a great fathers day with your hubby. Love

  • DJ Walker

    Maybe you just became more like me?
    You know I’ve always been a lover not a fighter but also happy to listen before speaking…?
    You don’t always have to blame/praise age…

    • Well yes dear brother, this may be true too. You’ve always been more this than I ever was. Perhaps I learnt to embrace my inner Dean Boy.

  • sheribombblog

    I’ve always said ‘agree to disagree’. I don’t feel the need to MAKE someone agree with my point of view or opinion, but I do expect them to respect my right to it as I do them. I get very frustrated by people who think there is only right or wrong. There are too many different factors influencing a person or situation at any one time for things to be so cut and dried. Glad you found a calmer middle ground 🙂

    • Me too, absolutely me too. Wise words Miss Sheri, thank you for contributing. xo

  • I had this epiphany a little while ago and I feel so much happier now. Welcome to the other side Melissa!!