Last night when I wrote this morning’s post I was sad, annoyed, frustrated and a little bit angry with myself. Through writing it I was reminded of everything that I want for myself. What my goals are. Why I’m doing this. I know why. I know what I want for myself. I just needed a reminder.

Thank you all for weighing in with your thoughts and comments. Thank you for cheering me on as you always do. You guys are WONDERFUL. I don’t know what I would do without this space. I’m lucky to have managed to make it this far with a community of genuine, loving people here. You are part of my network. Part of the team and for that, I am SO grateful.

I say that and overnight there was a troll on a new fashion friend’s blog. This troll decided to take the time out to criticise my friend’s outfit, her styling and personal presentation, something she values highly. They went on to say she was ‘week’ and should admit she just couldn’t lose weight.

I cringed because my personal revelation about how hard I am trying to do this would have been to that troll more validation that all fat people secretly want to lose weight and be thin. I hate that I validated that comment in any way. I hate that through my own desire for more that I gave them fuel for their fire. And that irks me no end.

So I want to say this;

I’ve had every test, blood test and probe known to man. I am trying to conceive remember? Three and a half years and counting. I have been tested, pushed and shoved. Did I mention probed? The sad state of affairs is this, I am fit as a fiddle. My sugar, cholesterol, blood pressure {except when kept waiting too long at the Dr’s office} and whatever other measures there are are ALL normal. Except my BMI. And when it comes to a rowing machine or stationary bike, well Troll, I’ll RACE YOU. And don’t even get me started on the weights.

I AM healthy now. I AM fat now. I AM in good working order so your ‘evidence’ that all fat people are lazy, food scoffing lumps is bull shit. Body shaming is NEVER okay. Your assumptions are ridiculous. Your mind closed. And when all is said {ranted} and done, who died and made you the body police? Huh!?Β Like my Uncle said on my Facebook page this morning ‘You don’t have to be skinny to be healthy. Everybody is different.’.

Amen Uncle Rod, Amen. I’ll see YOU at the gym.

  • Go sister.

  • BAM BOOYARR

  • Cassandra (@ LittleOliverJ)

    I LOVE everything you stand for!

  • Tabitha

    Trolls like that are literally the scum of the earth! Hiding behind their anonymity and computer. I can guarantee none would say half the things to do in person.

    Other side of the coin – I am trying to lose weight and improve health too. While I am technically healthy now (got tests done etc.) my Dr did say that waist measurements do matter and that makes me more susceptible to UN-healthy things like disease. So whilst I embrace my plus-size stature, it is certainly something I need to be conscious of.

    Do you know what I mean??

    • Absolutely wouldn’t. I can almost guarantee that!

      I do know what you mean. Absolutely. I find the guides for health and healthy living and all that jazz so inconsistent and ever changing that the only way forward can be exercise, whole food and moderation. the rest will probably be different tomorrow.

  • hereiamloulou

    Melissa – my thoughts are with you and what to do with the troll!
    You know my thoughts on trolls!
    x take care
    Loulou
    (ps: sometimes they are closer than you can imagine)

  • Fuck yeahhhhh! x

  • edenland

    Sorry you even had to write this. F*ck haters. Love and power to you xxx

  • Leisa Flanigan

    Oh no, you’re so lovely that’s very sad some one had to be nasty. Thank you for everything you do on this blog, I love reading it πŸ™‚

  • Cherie

    … hallelujah ;~)

  • Oh HELL yes, and really sad that you even have to qualify this to complete d*cks. I’m super sad for these stupid d*cknose trolls, as for you – well, you got the POWER, honey. Kx

    • Oh I know, right!? But I wanted to qualify it for anyone who arrived here. To be clear about my intention here.
      Got the power, wow. Yes! Thanks. xo

  • I have written about 4 comments and then deleted them, I really don’t know how to get out what I want to say,
    I am so angry at this, so angry that a beautiful person like you has to justify yourself, so angry that these people are some how getting the power to manipulate and hurt good kind people.

    • This is perfect. Thanks for taking all that time to make it come out right. If only everyone online offered the same care and attention to detail. I’m ok. I just wanted my chance to clarify And since it’s my blog, I might as well do it here. πŸ™‚

  • MrsLoz

    Boo hiss to haters. Keep on trucking, I love you’re work. Love the inspiration I get from the Aussie curve posts.. And love popping in to see what you have to say. You own your words, don’t let a troll make you second guess x

    • Thanks MrsLoz. Aussie Curves is THE BEST. Having loads of fun trying out new styles and broadening my own. Love, love. And yes, I’m standing firmly behind what I said, how I wanted to say it, that is.

  • Is it another faceless nameless troll? Someone who didn’t have the guts to attach their name to their words? For FFS trolls get a fu*king life. Sorry Mel have been swearing a bit in my comments lately haven’t I?

    • Ha. Indeed you have been. Don’t make me add you to the blocked list. It’d break my heart. πŸ˜›

  • Amen! I can’t stand stereotypes of ANY kind! I want to see that race!! Suger you are fabulous and totally rock that body of yours!

    • I know right. It’ll be like Charlotte Dawson confronting her twitter abusers, but in the gym! Thank you. xo

  • river

    Bloody trolls!
    Your uncle is right. I know lots of thinner people who are decidedly UNhealthy and unfit too.
    You are one of the healthiest, fittest women I know. You’d beat me at the gym for sure.

    • Bloody trolls indeed. Ah yes, but I’d beat you and we’d go for coffee afterwards. Or a tea. Whatever. πŸ˜‰

  • Amen to that.

  • Mrs Woog

    Clapping xxx

  • Only people who hate themselves are willing to subject others to such abuse. You have absolutely nothing to justify or answer to. Their hatred is their own. They answer to it every day because they must wallow in it. They can never escape their own critical minds.

  • Michelle

    I think a lot of people share the view of this troll. All you have to do is look at the reaction to the young girl who posed in her underwear recently. We are viewed as weak and unattractive and not worthy of interest. I think that if you were to ask a skinny person about someone who is overweight they would say that it is just a simple case of calories in vs calories out.

    Does it make it right to say it on someone’s blog – no but if you have a blog then you have to expect that not everyone is going to love what you do/agree with what you say. One of the reasons I don’t have a blog anymore.

    • The sad fact is you’re absolutely right. The even sadder thing is that most people forget that such things are just as hurtful online as they are in person. I heard one of the ‘men’ that attacked Charlotte Dawson on Twitter say that it wasn’t real, it didn’t mean anything, it was just what he does on Twitter in a segment on the news last night. That made me quiver to my very core. He believed it. He really, REALLY didn’t think it counted because a: it was the internet and b: she was famous {put herself out there} and should be able to hack it. There’s no way I could be the only one who thinks that’s a major issue!? Scary even.

      Sorry to hear you gave up your blog. I would be very sad indeed to retire mine for anything remotely like this reason. I’m glad you still visit though.

  • lisa | renovating italy

    Brava! Brava Brava!!! xxx

  • Cbrain

    I keep thinkingabout what I’ve learnt this year…..it is not to judge. I don’t always succeed with this. I had every blood test I thought was possible. My GP is awesome…checking my thyroid levels..checking my gluten tolerance levels….and something else which I can’t remember but was not normal. The difference being I border on the underweight end of healthy BMI. Am I fit? No! Am I healthy? No. Am i me? Yes. Did I have to work bloody hard to fall pregnant? HELL YES! I had to change my eating habits, stress levels etc etc…would what I did work for you? I don’t have a clue! I hope your body aligns with your heart very quickly.

  • You know what? If I could find that troll… I’d thank them. I’d say “Hey, you know what you did, with that comment? You energised my readers, you gave us all something to talk and think about, you gave me a laugh, and you reminded me that the fight is not over, there is still a lot of fat stigma out there, and the fact that me outrageously posting pictures of myself upset you so much makes me even more determined to keep doing it.. so, thank you, no really.. thank you.”
    If anyone’s curious the post the troll decided to weigh in on (see what I did there, hehehe) is here: http://fashionadjacent.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/aussie-curves-breaking-rules.html
    Someone like that is obviously really unhappy with themselves and their life – why else would you say something like that to a stranger?