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I’m not even really sure I’m equipped to write this post. I often struggle to run my own race. I blame an underlying competitive nature. I love to check out what other people are doing. Often I’ll compare myself with them. That’s all fine and dandy if it turns out you come out on top, but what happens is that you’re not always going to be on top.

And I hate to lose.

So how do you run your own race with your eyes gazing longingly off into the distance where the winners liveΒ when first place has been won and you’re still plugging away? That’s harder, I think. Like staying positive when life is poo. Being generous when times are tough. Running your race when others are {even just to you} winning takes guts.

Yesterday the Voices Top 100 blog competition names were released. It was formerly the Kidspot Top 50. You know the one I was listed in last year… Well my name wasn’t on there. I’d had time to prepare for this. A friend of mine had contacted me when she received her “YAY you’re in email” to ask if I’d received mine too. I hadn’t. Awkward. But still, even though this blog is everything I could dream it to be and more at the moment {both creatively and commercially} I started looking for what I’d done wrong.

QUICK. Change something. Make them like me.

They’ll reconsider, right?

I started looking for tips on how to do better in the race. How to win. To keep up at least. To be more appealing. I was sad today. Sad to not receive a spot that I kind of, sort of, thought I would get. Ready to throw out doing things the way that make me happy, the way I’m proud of doing them because I wasn’t chosen. I found myself flicking through the 25 winners in my category looking for a formula. A secret. A conspiracy, perhaps? {not my finest moment, but you remember I said I was competitive, right?}

I was in the wrong race. That’s not my race. Crazy person is NOT my race. Promise.

I remembered something. A lot of somethings. This blog lives here all year round. I write here, share my photos and my stories here all year round. Not just for blog award season. I’ve been flavour of the month and I’ve been the blog no one visits. I’ve tried too hard, I’ve tried too little. I’ve battled with my competitive self when it came to doing things the way I love to do them. I don’t want to be you. I’m me. This blog is a part of that.

So how do you run your own race when others are winning?

You just do. You fess up to being disappointed. You congratulate the winners. You remember that for some people you are a whole heap of wonderful and that you really never know what’s around the corner. You remind yourself that winning is fun {GREAT!} but that losing has lessons too. But most of all you remember that no amount of being someone else will ever make you happy for long.

And most importantly .. Being me is something no one else can beat me at.

Competitive. See?