One foot in front of the other, that’s what this post is about. How taking small steps towards your goals will change your life forever, starting now.

Ever been told to look for the silver lining? Look on the bright side, find the positive or be grateful for what you have? Yup. Me too. And I’ve said it myself, a million and one times. But the thing is that when you are being knocked on your ass time and time again, that’s easier said than done.

So how do you then start to take steps towards being positive when all you can feel is ick? I have a few thoughts on that. Some ideas that I’ve garnered from years of being told to cheer up and really, really, REALLY not wanting to.

First of all, you have to spend some time dropping your bundle. Times are tough, and the world is against you and in all seriousness you just need to have a good cry about it. Awesome. Do that. Decide that for an entire day you will be a fragile, sobbing mess if you feel like it. Relish and wallow in the injustice of it. Life sucks. Celebrate the suckiness of it.

My personal favourite way to do this is to watch heartbreaking, tear jerker movies one after another. I follow this up with a bit of eating of my feelings. General wallowing and loads of sighs. The thing to remember is that you don’t have to have it together all the time. You don’t have to be brave, strong or in charge all the time. Put your adult hat aside and carry on like a toddler for a while. I give you permission.

I’ll wait here while you schedule that time. Just me and my elevator music and weird humming.

Ready? When you’ve done that. When you’ve cried and wailed and sobbed and stamped your feet for long enough, then it’s time to take the next step. And you’ll know it’s time, you’ll feel it in your gut that enough is enough. Don’t have that feeling? Book another crying hour, or another day. But when you’re ready to move on, fully aware that life just kicked your bum, and it’s not fair, nothing is, and then it’s time.

Time to admit one thing to get yourself back on track. There are people, lots of them in most cases, who are having their bum kicked way worse than you are right now. And worse, they are probably happy about it. If you’re reading this email on your computer or device of whatever sort, with access to the internet, then you, my friend, are way ahead of the game. Your life, though complicated in whatever means it is, is a cake walk compared to some.

No buts, no ifs, no maybes. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but this is the only way I know how to tell you this. You are a lucky son of a bitch. You have more than some people ever dream of. And you need to brush yourself off, get up and try again. Because you can. Because you’re not dead yet. Because I’ve got your back, and I know that whatever is facing you right now is in front of you because you have the guts to handle it. No question.

Don’t make me call you warrior because I can and will do that.

You can do this because of all you have and all you are and who I know you to be. But Suger, you may say, you don’t know me, I’m a person of the internet that you’ve never met. But that’s where you’re wrong. I do know you. I AM YOU. You are my sister. My friends. My husband or the lady who works across the hall. I know you because all people are, the good ones anyway, the same. When you get right down to it, we are all the same. And we, my friend, are gutsy as hell.

Go on, take that first step. Then take the next one and the next one towards looking at things differently and then you tackle your life head on. Suckiness and all. Because you remember the good days, the happy times, the gifts you have right in front of you. You have always, always been taken care of and loved by whatever force out there you believe in.

Up and at ’em team. Time to try again.

Melissa Walker Horn

Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.