So I skipped the gym and my Weight Watchers meeting yesterday. I was hiding out. Ducking what could only have been a bad week. Eating poorly, sleeping poorly. Even failing to drink enough water, which is kind of my ‘thing’ I’ve always done right. There is something that gets triggered in me when I feel like I’m going to get in trouble. Even if it’s fictional trouble based entirely in my head. I hate getting in trouble. I’m a good girl.

But that fear of getting into trouble drives me in a lot of ways. It makes me be sneaky bad. It pushes me to hide out at the very time when I should be asking for help. There’s nothing worse than the being trapped by a behaviour that is unproductive and just down right bad for you. And by trapped, I mean trapped. I couldn’t have made it to that meeting if I wanted to. All of a sudden my whole self was sick, aching, dying a slow painful death. I was being all the horrible things I told myself I was.

You’ve got to watch it when you start to hide out from people. It can be for a host of reasons. none of them good. Maybe you’re hiding from yourself? This is the worst. When I hide out from myself I ignore the signs of my body telling me that it has had enough. I ignore the warning signs in my skin, my eyes and my waist. When I hide from myself I cover the tiredness with more naps and more caffeine. But they are the symptom, not the cause. I need to go back and restore myself.

There comes a time when I have to fess up. and stop hiding out. And it happens more often than I care to admit.

What are you hiding from lately?

  • Life. Well… the selling of my place and dealing with the RE Agent etc. Bad news re buyers and so forth. (And it’s only been just over a week. I did this for 3mths last year!)

    • Thinking of you Deb. Hopefully things go better for you soon. Come out, come out wherever you are…!

  • Sitting for an exam for a certification that is way above where i am at….. the universe even gave me an “out” earlier in the year and stupid rightious me fought to get back in!

    • Well get your butt in there and do that exam that you fought for. Out you come. Can’t stay under there forever. 😉

  • I get the hiding out thing. I’ve been doing it for months. Well attempting to. I’m not even sure what I’m hiding out from but I just want to crawl into a cave for a long long time.

    • P.S. *hugs*
      That is what I came to comment afterall. So you had a shit week, one shit week is better than two shit weeks right?

    • You’re much too fabulous to take up permanent residence in a cave! I look forward to you rejoining us sometime soon. 😉

  • I dunno, everything? It depends on how deep you want me to go, I guess that’s why I see a psych once a fortnight 😛

    • And high five for that! Seeing a psych will keep you from hiding hiding, in my opinion. Keep you honest about opening yourself up to at least one person. You’re the bravest of the lot of us. 😉

  • sheribombblog

    Gosh I have been doing this MASSIVELY the last few weeks. Even my blog was silent for the most part of last week. Things were down in Sheri Town. I was down. Very down on myself. No motivation, no happiness, no pep. Just all very negative. I HATE that. Me, as a person, is the OPPOSITE of that. So I hate feeling like I’m not myself. Inexplicably, this week I am feeling smashing! I couldn’t pinpoint the reason I felt so crap and I can’t seem to pinpoint why this week has been so much better. But I’m just going to enjoy it and not get into my head too much. I have a bad habit of doing that. If the sads come back, then I shall re-examine. But for now, I’m just happy being happy.

    • Excellent! Welcome back Sheri. The world needs you, the real you, my lovely friend. 🙂

      • sheribombblog

        Nawwww thank you ♥ xx