Oh, Kylie. I read those words, and I felt sorry for the child you were. That girl, she was all of us. Did anyone ever tell you that? That girl worried about if boys will like her, was all* of us. We all wanted to be liked, valued and unfortunately, in this world for women, your attractiveness is the thing that matters.
It breaks my heart.
For every girl who has been there and every girl going there. I just want to scoop them up into a hug and make that longing to be wanted go away. And if Kylie was my sister, my niece, my friend, that is exactly what I would do. Not only that, but I would tell her we’ve all been there.
Life is full of ups and downs. And that the opinion of a guy, randomly blurted out in an intimate moment, shouldn’t define the way you feel about yourself or your body. That really, the way that men feel about you should have nothing at all to do with how YOU feel about you. Ever.
Which I know, is easier said than done in this world.
But then, Kylie is surrounded by women who, by all televised accounts, still find a large portion of their value in their attractiveness to men. Unique, varied, hard-working women and no one can deny that. But focused on their appearance so steadfastly that they are piece by piece becoming modified versions of the same person.
Who then tells the 16-year-old that her value isn’t in boys wanting to kiss her? That her value lays in her humour, her charisma, and the joy she takes in spreading the love for her family and friends. Who says that to her and means it? Who stands firmly in that being the truth?
No one. Probably. That’s my guess. No one says that. Apparently. And so a girl makes a choice. She has a procedure, that concerned enough about her position as a role model to hide her decision from fans, altered her face, sometimes painfully by her own admission, to be kissable. To. Be. Kissable. Oh man.
Some folks would say that’s her choice. She can do with her face what she pleases. And they are SO RIGHT. She can. But it doesn’t stop me from being sad for the girl that she was. That no one stood by her natural beauty for long enough for her to see it. That it was allowed, if not encouraged, by those around her.
But that’s the thing, right? It’s hard then to say, do as I say, not as I do when you lead the charge with surgery first and self-love second. I don’t believe, actually, that you can stand and look someone in the eye and tell them they are perfect and loved and valued just as they are when you couldn’t do the same.
Harsh, but that’s the way I feel.
When you are pinched, poked, prodded, padded and tweaked to within an inch of your former self, how then can you be a role model for a girl struggling to find value in herself? That’s when your decision to alter your body and your face becomes impactful on others. You drank the cool-aide and there’s no going back from that.
*With the exceptions of girls interested in girls, or in no one at all, but for this article, let me generalise, please.