I like to think I go through life considerate of other people and the path they are on. Sure. Sometimes I throw my hands in the air and label them whatever. But mostly, my default is sensitive. Every person is on their on path. Each and every single one of us has a story. A level of pain and of happiness. We each handle these situations in our own way. Expressing what needs to be express so that it doesn’t consume us.

Sometimes I see pain and I just want to fix it. Especially for those I love. Especially for those I feel like it’s my job to protect. I watch them suffer at the hands of their past and I want to rescue them. And then I don’t. I can’t because it’s not mine to take away. In all honesty I’m not even sure I could if I tried. Like the seedling that forces through the dirt to reach the sunshine {gag, cliche} we each have to fight our way through the things that break our hearts and spirits.

Jac from CRAP Mamma wrote on her Facebook wall a while ago “If we never let our kids fall, how will they ever learn to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and continue on?” I think they won’t. I think you can’t continue to protect anyone {your kids, family, friends} from the fall. All you ever do is keep them from learning to pick themselves up. A timely update for me. A call to action for the thoughts swirling in my head.

Just a thought for this morning.

For me. Mostly.

Tell me, what would you say to Jac’s question? What IF we don’t let them fall? Then what? 

  • It is actually amazing how much better life does become Mel, when you do realize that it is not your job to fix everything, and you stop taking so many other peoples problems on board (with in reason of course!) 🙂 Its like this big weight is instantly lifted of your shoulders.

  • Kimmie

    I could have written this post myself! Ditto sister! xxx

  • Jen R

    Soo true, children have to fall, fail and know they are not the only ones in the world…but love unconditionally from their parents and knowing we are there for them is a must 🙂

  • Mumabulous

    I’m a big fan of Crap Mamma. Jac is a blogging kindred spirit from what I can tell. Of course we have to back off and let our kids make their own mistakes. I’ll try and warn them against making the same mistakes that I did but I’m sure they’ll make mistakes that I haven’t even thought of. In the long run most people come through OK – I’m sure my bright and spirited girls will too. Many Thanks Mumabulous

    • Jac’s a bit special, for sure. I agree, sharing your lessons is a big part of parenting, for sure. But that won’t protect them from their own mistakes. Not forever, anyway.

  • river

    If you never let them fall, school and life after that is going to be a huge shock.
    They will never be independent, never make their own decisions (or mistakes), they will still be relying on you in their 30s, 40s, *gasp* their 50s…..
    Yes, I may be exaggerating a little, but their are too many cottonwool kids being raised by helicopter mothers already. Let them slide down the slide without you running alongside holding their hand.

    • I get the fear of the slide, really I do, every time I watch my tiny niece slide down I hold my breath a little. But I do what I can and trust she will land safely, or I’ll pick her up.

  • Is it fate that you have written this today, and I have just informed my daughter that I am her parent! A parent’s job, I informed her, is not to do everything for her, but to teach her to do things herself. She was less than impressed. But I am not going to be here for her forever.

    • I’m glad this came about at a good time for you. A valuable lesson you’re teaching your daughter. All the best. xo

  • I think for me it’s a question of if they need to fall, if they need to be taught that lesson at this moment.
    It’s not in my nature to watch people hurt just because they could learn from it.
    Put it this way, I will warn my children of a possible danger or outcome if they do/continue to do something. The next choice is up to them, do they take my warning? Do they ask me for more information? Or do they ignore me and continue with their course of action?
    I think that falling is a part of growing and learning, yes, but I think there is a difference between seeing someone fall and being there for support because there is nothing you can do, and watching someone fall and scream for help and turn away from that.
    But I also beleive we must be kind to ourselves first and foremost. It’s our job to look after ourself first because if we are not good then we do not have good to offer others.

    • Mine either. I would never stand by and watch something happen. I’m very similar to you and your kids. Warning and letting what will be, be. I also would never leave anyone that is down, down. An excellent contribution to this post Miss Pink. Thanks again for visiting. You rock, and/or roll. xox

  • Amy

    I believe there’s a time for everything. There’s a time to let them fall and a time to pick them up. You don’t let an under two year old on high equipment unless you know their limits and abilities, and there’s a time you stop catching them at the bottom of the slide. There’s a time you can stand by and watch and they can still get hurt.
    You let your children fail in a safe environment and they should be able to grow through it.
    But when you take their consequences from them they expect you to take them all.