body confidence, how do you do that

It’s a tricky thing, writing this without sounding boastful or conceited or whatever the correct version of that is. So let’s just say for argument’s sake I’m not any of those things and I’m trying to help, if you will. Then we can move on and I can stop pussy footing around it being awkward and say what there is to say about Body Confidence. What I really want to say is that body confidence is available to you any time you want it, you just have to give up a few things first!

I made a list.

To be confident about your body you need to forget everything you were ever taught about bodies. Forget the thin is in myth, forget the muscles make the man thing. Pretend you never heard about thigh gaps, real women have curves and every other body catch phrase you have ever heard. You need a blank slate. These terms are coined by people usually looking to sell you something you don’t have. To fill a big hole you didn’t know you had.

Forget them.

Start to remind yourself of all the wonderful things your body does all the time for you. Start with breathing. That’s important. Blood pumping. Personally I spent SO much time bashing my body for everything it was doing wrong all I could see were the faults and flaws. Stop looking for faults and start looking for things to be grateful for. As you walk think about how awesome it is to be able to. When you watch TV, send a shout out to your sight.

Take the time to notice the pluses, ignore the minuses.

Consider, that those things you even thought to be faults, minuses and flaws, may not be flaws at all. Who says having short legs is a fault? That women shouldn’t have broad shoulders or be tall. Or that lean is better than rounded? Who ARE these people you have given so much space in your head over to?

If society threw itself on its head tomorrow and said women should be big, men should be small, fat is in and thin is out… Where would you stand then? You see, it’s not real? It’s an IDEA. And ideas can changed. You need to change your idea right now. It’s the key really.

Change your thinking about the way bodies SHOULD look and change your ideas about what makes for a healthy and happy body.

Start taking steps towards cutting out chemicals, eating whole foods and doing some exercise. You start to care of that body of yours like it has never been cared for before. With LOVE and no intent to force it to do anything. But instead with appreciation for what it does for you every day.

Because not having body confidence isn’t something that is only felt by people with society’s version of unattractive bodies. It’s a common occurrence. There’s always something wrong with your body if you look for it.

So stop doing that! 

For example, I say this with all seriousness, I WISH people would stop complaining about their bodies being ruined by having babies. RUINED. Seriously? Consider that statement for a moment… you are not ruined. Ever. Calm the farm. Changed yes. Absolutely. But ruined?

Want proof that this sort of body confidence deficit happens to everyone? My current girl crush, the gorgeous Jennifer Lawrence jokingly commented on Letterman about her Catching Fire premiere dress {the sheer one!} “Thighs, OMG thighs!” with a horrified expression. Now this, by all accounts, is a woman confident with her body but all she sees in those photos {my impression of that conversation anyway} is thighs.

I saw a hot bod!

Most of us saw a hot bod. Which brings me to my final point. You don’t even KNOW what you look like. Not really. You have this idea about what you think your body looks like. The people around you have another. You never know you may be coveting something you have. And sure, that’s not a good enough reason to love your body, but it’s a place to start. Start there.

Start anywhere. Just start today. The sooner the better. Because when you can look someone in the face and say I am okay with my body. Proud of it just as it is now, then we all win. Media and sales pitches don’t have the same effect. Nobody does.

No one will be able to tell you that you are not worthy of love, affection, care and concern if you believe it first yourself. So begin now. For the worlds daughters sake. For the sons. One person at a time to change the world.

I’m counting on you.