Relationships take work. The relationship with your body takes work and I don’t necessarily mean at the gym. I post about my clothing choices, my life and my body in a bit of a haphazard way. Sharing and over-sharing when it takes my fancy. People assume my body and I have a rosy romantical love akin to great romances. And some days, I do. Just like some days my Hubby and I do. Other days, well, not so much.
Sure there are freaks of nature out there who wake up every single day in love with their partner, in love with their body too. Good on them. They are probably hanging out with unicorns and pigs that fly. For the rest of us, I think to focus on being over the top in love with your body all the time would be like trying to maintain the honeymoon phase in your relationship. Pretty soon it becomes a drag and you are more faking it than making it.
So I encourage you to relax. Enjoy your body in the way you would a lover, a friend or even a smelly old husband. Ride the ups and downs. Play nicely and respectfully but acknowledge your feelings. Some days I wake up not pregnant again for the fourth year running and I hate my body. I hate that it hasn’t done what it should do. I hate that it attempts to trick and fool me into false hope. I decide, that I’m not talking to it.
After an icy day or two, my resolve crumbles, I’m sorry. I’m glad I didn’t say anything that can’t be taken back. I acknowledge and appreciate everything my body does for me. I spill my feelings of betrayal and of being alone in this. We hug and make up. I don’t feel badly about that time where I wasn’t IN love with my body. I think I have the right to be a little angry. Just the same as the time my husband spent a wad of cash out of our joint account before consulting me.
Love takes work sometimes.
It takes putting aside the negative thoughts that run through your head sometimes.
It takes compromise.
It takes being committed to it being forever.
It takes a little sucking it up and getting over it.
I wrote a post a while ago about how your relationship with yourself is a lot like your relationship with anyone else*. It takes something to treat yourself well. It’s an ongoing decision to be respectful and present. For most of us we treat ourselves like our worst enemy. Speaking badly of it, putting it down, even abusing it and expecting it to stay our friend. It just doesn’t work. Like a bad relationship, over time it will break down. Over time, you’ll find a person won’t want to be with you any more. Will need to get away. And breaking up with your body is pretty hard to do.
So relax a little, be kind and enjoy the body you’ve got now. No pressure.
* Of course, I cannot for the life of me find it. Too bad too, it would’ve been just about perfect for summing this post up.