Last night I went to bed at a decent hour. I was showered, with my teeth brushed, iPhone off by 10.30pm. It was like the my house version of a Christmas miracle. I had a big day ahead of me, I wanted to be well rested. Prepared. Soon I drifted off to sleep with the ever soothing Adele crooning quietly in the background. Some time later, a noise jolted me from my sleep. My eyes adjusting to the darkness, my mind alert… I saw it, movement in my ensuite.

OMG. There was someone climbing in my ensuite window. OMG. SOMEONE IS ROBBING MY ENSUITE.

My heart was pounding. I tried not to move so they wouldn’t be aware that I had woken. I was debating my options for how the heck to get them out of the ensuite when I finally awoke. My mind caught up with my eyes. The haze of sleep finally lifted. I took another, more focused look into the ensuite through the gap in the sliding internal door. I stared at that spot for what seemed like minutes but was probably seconds.

There was no one there. I had been dreaming. I had dreamt that someone was breaking into my ensuite. Triggered, I assume by the blind tapping gently in the breeze. I’d been asleep for an hour and a half. Basically a whole night sleep according to my body. Which was still on high alert danger mode. So I lay awake for hours until I finally drifted back to sleep well after 3am. A good night sleep, I did NOT get. Damn those non-existent ensuite robbers.

So tell me, if you burgarlised an ensuite bathroom, what would YOU steal?