A short while ago I was here blogging about leaving my job, I’d planned to go full-time in my social media consultancy {a large part of which means working more on this blog}. Then a mere two days into that ‘retirement’ plan I was contacted and offered a 6 month contract at a local not-for-profit and I said yes.
Life changed. My routine was thrown out the window. I tumbled and stumbled along for a few weeks until I realised that the time was now and I had to do something or it would be the end of 2014 and I’d have nothing done. And in 2014, as usual, I have big plans.
I wrote a post about it, you remember, asking for your advice on finding your feet in a new routine. How do you do that? How DID you do that? I asked for advice from you charming bunch. The most common answer across the platforms was ‘you just get on with it!’. Sound advice that.
Advice that in the end I took.
I got on with it. I stood up every morning and did what I could do, I went to work, I utilised every spare minute to my advantage. I wrote and I caught up and I missed one too many gym classes. Ask my muscle tone, it’ll tell you. But I got there. I’ve found a balance that works.
Now I write often and better in a lot of ways than I ever have before. I’ve even started a couple of new eBooks. YES. A couple. I saw my parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, drank coffees and hung out with friends and got myself in a new clean, mean way of living. I’ve even cut back the booze to virtually non-existent, I’m a freaking Saint! New routine is firmly coming together and life’s good.
You know, the feeling of panic has lifted and it all looks possible again.
The best part is that I learnt a few things along the way. I learnt how to ‘just get on with it’ like you said. I made notes and jotted down tips as they came to me. Because I’m a blogger. That’s what I do. In fact being a blogger means that I can adapt quickly and easily in the first place. I mean, have you ever tried to keep up with the latest Facebook algorithm?
So without further ado. And that was plenty of ado, don’t you think? Here it is, my guide for how to adapt in life quickly and easily;
Let it go
Not just an Oscar-winning song, it’s a way of life. A simple and easy way of adapting when things are changing and you’re freaking out. You have to stop and let go of every idea you have about how something SHOULD look. There is not perfect way, no routine that cannot be improved. So stop forcing it and let it gooooo. Don’t make me sing. It’s not pretty.
The way I was able to let go of my old routine and work my way into a new one was through reminding myself that things are different now. Sure I may have to write in the morning sometimes when I was so used to working at nights, but things are different now. Get over it. Let it go.
Be open to new information
When things are changing around you there is a lot of information to process. For me this can lead to overwhelm. That moment when you reach your hands up, cover your ears and say ENOUGH. Well sorry folks, I’m going to tell you not to do that. Resist the urge to run screaming and stand and face. The new information coming in WILL reduce sooner or later and the nugget, the thing you have been waiting for to make the difference is probably in there somewhere.
Take down time
In the theme of being open to new information and letting it go, make sure you are getting enough sleep, taking sufficient breaks and making time for down time so you have the mental space to do these things. Ignore the rushing voice of complaint that probably sounds like the ‘ain’t nobody got time for that’ lady and do it. Like the old saying goes, if you don’t have time to do it right, you don’t have the time to do it over.
Know what there is to do
With all the new things happening around you there is a chance that things you once had on the list have gone by the wayside. I was beating myself up about not making it to the gym all the time. Annoyed that I hadn’t finished projects I’d committed to and was stretching deadlines to their breaking point. Frustrated because at every turn there appeared to be something else I still had to do or fit in.
So I got out my neon yellow chalkboard pen {Thanks Liv!} and I made a list. I wrote the big things on there and the little things. The upcoming commitments I have. The unsaid commitments that I felt just as bad about breaking like spending time with my husband and family. I wrote it all down. I pulled out my diary and starting making notes. I got very, very clear on what there was to do and started doing it.
Dance
Not literally, though literally if it makes you feel better. But find a way to float along for a little while, with no idea of how it will work out or why. Just dance in the chaos. We all know those people who are standing in the midst of great change and chaos and look peaceful, yes? Those people are dancing.
In my life when things get mad, when there are deadlines looming or a major change is afoot it triggers all sorts of anxiety in me. Anxiety that is quickly followed by depression. It’s a slippery slope and one that can cost me days, weeks or even months.
So I learnt to dance. Finding a way to say to myself, “be calm”, “control is an illusion”, “just breathe” works. I learnt to laugh in the face of the part of me who believed that she had any semblance of control over how life went for me. I can plan and try as hard as I like. Still, it is out of my hands.
Go one better than going with the flow, dance in the midst of the change you are experiencing, you’ll find yourself on your feet when you come out the other side.
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
I don’t thrive on chaos at all – like a typical Taurean I am stuck in my ways and like to have a routine. Problem is, that’s not what my life looks like right now. So instead of freaking out about ALL OF THE THINGS, I’m reining in the stuff I do have control over and going with the flow for the rest … we’ll see how that goes.
I’m not sure anyone legitimately thrives on chaos. I think people manage it better than others for varying periods but in the end, chaos sucks for everyone. Good luck to you with ALL THE THINGS (lol) and just keep ticking off that list.
I thrive on chaos these days. Although, I still use routine in smaller things to help keep me grounded. Funny random things like making sure my towels are folded a certain way, or making sure the kitchen is clean before we go to bed. These small things anchor me, help me to feel safe and give me a firm footing to then deal with all the other things flying about around me! I do temping, so I am always learning new systems and rolling with the punches in new work environments. Last week I was in a warehouse tagging computer equipment. This week I am behind a reception desk! I find that the chaos keeps me on my toes and keeps my attention engaged at a high level. I wasnt always like this. I worked at a bank for 6 years. Same systems, same hours, same old drudgery for six whole years! I loved the security of it, the safety of a reliable pay check and reliable problems. But then my life changed and I wanted something more. I quit, we went travelling (lol talk about chaos! Travelling with my significant other for the first time equals the most chaos I have ever experienced to date!) and things have never been the same since! I learned to embrace the chaos, learned anchoring methods to cope with the uncertainly that comes part and parcel with chaos. And I wouldnt have it any other way!!! Great post Mel 🙂
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. This comment is SUCH a great contribution to it. I’m so excited to hear more about your adventures. Like, an unreasonable amount of excited considering I don’t reeeeally know you.
Aw thanks! I was talking to my hubby the other day about how awesome the net is for forming ‘other’ types of relationships. Like getting to you you through your blog, FB and IG! and I’m an oversharer (lol in cased you hadn’t guessed :P) so you’ll def hear about our upcoming adventures!
It’s SO great, right? The best people are on the net. Mostly. 😉
Dear Melissa, thank you so much for this ! Starting tomorrow my new job, I couldn’t have read this in a more appropriate time. I’ve written down the ‘be calm’,’control is a illusion’, ‘breathe’ and ‘dance’, I will use it as my mantra for the coming week! Thanks again from the other side of the globe 🙂 (Belgium), Solange
Thank you Solange, wishing you ALL the very best moving forward. Keep me posted on how you go and how the new mantra works for you.
Thank you for this. I was let go from my job on Friday with no notice and a payout that was less than half of what I was promised, and now I’m moving in with my parents on the other side of Sydney and looking for jobs up the coast, and Mr Wright might be getting a job in Newcastle which means there’s a chance I’ll be moving there… it’s all happening and I can’t control anything except how I deal with it.
In a year I’ll be laughing again but for now I just have to put my dancing shoes on and get through it. (After all, if you can put your dancing shoes on, you’ve found your feet! Ha. Puns help everything.)
Funny how these things just fall out onto the keyboard some days and then it’s the perfect time for one of you fine folks out there. Dance like mad Shelby and it won’t be long at all.
Like how you found “control is illusion”. As we really don’t control anything. not even what is going on in our own bodies.
I work with a guy that is sort is on the nutso-side of control. I mean he is a yeller and screamer and tries to control everything. At a work meeting, one day he was screaming at me about nothing (Hate to say this, he is not the brightest person in the world) and I just sat there. Finally, I said “Are you done,” and looked at him. Then I said “You need to get out of this control thing. It is the aggressive sun cycle that has you acting crazy. You need to get in-line with the more peaceful lunar cycle which helps you give up control and you might live a little longer.”
Let’s just say he is still trying to figure that one out.
It absolutely is an illusion. I often find that having a conversation like this can take a while to sink in. If ever. haha. Hang in there with old mate. 😉