They’re everywhere. The successful tales of 2012 being THE year for them. New pregnancies, pregnancies coming to fruition, new bubs. They’re everywhere. Or maybe, it just feels like it to me. There is nothing worse, I don’t think than starting to lose hope. Welcome to the halfway point of 2012. The cut off for having a baby this year has come and gone. All we have left now is the hope we might conceive a baby this year. Another one. One that stays. So I take my cell builder supplement and hope. Start the next round of everything and keep my fingers crossed.

Want it less. Starting to protect myself from the wanting. Declare it whatever. Holding so darn tightly to stories of success and blessing. 7 years and she has 8 weeks to go. A friend who started this year with me. Her probable last chance successful. A woman with a few months left who fell unexpectedly after believing she would never. I cling to their stories like my last shreds of hope.

I’m broken a little. But I’m ok.

  • seasidechik

    I’m so sorry Melissa.

    I’m crossing my fingers and sending you all the baby dust in the world. I hope your dream comes true.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thank you. 🙂 

  • Talia Carbis

    Thinking of you Suger. xo Wishing so much that you and Kel are successful.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thanks T. xox

  • I know you are not into this sort of thing, but I have a really strong feeling that next year will be your year. Don’t give up hope.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thanks Lisa. I’m not fussy what year really. As long as sooner or later it’s my turn. 

  • I’m proof, remember that x

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I do. Thanks hun. xo

  • tara louise

    I feel ya! I’ve been thinking of boycotting Facebook because I’m sick and tired of seeing everyone’s 13 week scans and announcements of being pregnant. That’s dark and bitter isn’t it!?? I’m off to get a laparoscopy at the end of the month which will hopefully sort my body and shit out and get it baby ready. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you – it’s a long time to be bummed every single month when you get your period. My fingers and toes are crossed that I see your baby announcement on Facebook – and i promise I won’t hiss and boo at it 🙂 xx
    PS. Are you doing IVF?

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Haha. Yes. I have days like that. Unsubscribe from updates… 😉 You had better woohoo your butt of on my status update. I’ll be watching your reaction. 😛 

  • stinkb0mb

    no words, just understanding. i’m seriously contemplating something that will draw a huge line underneath it all and it’s scarying the bejesus out of me.


    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thanks Rach. Good luck to you. 

  • No words just a whole lotta love and wishing and hoping that your baby is just waiting in the wings, ready for so much love. xxoo

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thanks Leanne. xo

  • My Vintage Vow

    Oh love, I just wanna hug you *sigh*.
    I want this so bad for you, so damn bad.
    But I too like Lisa believe and feel strongly that it WILL happen.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thank you Trudie. I hope you guys are right.

  • Strippedbareau (Natalie)

    I don’t know if this is going to make YOU feel better. But for different reasons so far 2012 is t my year either. But you know what despite the negatives. I’m trying to focus on the positives.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Haha. Oh you’re so wonderful. Thanks for the reminder. One foot in front of the other. xo

  • Calendarbrain

    I like even numbers more than odd numbers….but I got married on an odd number date so maybe even numbers are not our thing. You should do a post of superstistions.
    I get the feeling that hindsight will make things clearer for us…..can we fast forward to that part where we can see the hindsight?

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Maybe I should. Superstitions tend to draw out my OCD tendencies. Overcome this by doing that and all that jazz. Maybe I’m not the girl to write it. 😉  Hindsight, yes. I guarantee it will. 

  • Kyliemaywalker

    Mel parents come in many forms and I know with absolute certainty that you and Kel with all your love and energy and pure zest for life you will achieve your goal and be great at it. All of my love and support always x

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thanks lovely. I appreciate that. xox

  • Mrs Catch

    There are tears in my eyes. I really, really wish I could wave a magic wand and make it happen. Hoping your dreams come true very soon. Hugs xx

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thank you Mrs Catch. Don’t cry. We’re doing ok. xox

  • Sarah

    Sending you baby dust also . . . i slightly feel your need for hope but to find my man this year to start the same journey !! according to my friends this is my year to!! all the best beautiful!!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      I’m sure it will be. Thank you. 🙂

  • rinniez13

    Thinking of you! And hoping for the best for you. xx

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thanks lovely. xo

  • Deborah Cook

    Completely understand…. xxxxx

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Sorry to hear that. xox

  • Mandy

    I can’t even imagine.  Hugs.

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thank you. xo

  • notcharming

    It can be so hard to sit back on the sidelines huh… I swear if another sibling or cousin gets pregnant this year I might just disown my family! I’ve already removed them from FB but I still find out… and here I am on the wrong side of 35 waiting for the go ahead to even start trying…

    I hope you get your baby soon! and that I won’t be far behind you!

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Thank you. I hope so too. I feel your facebook pain. It can be hard going out there.

  • sheribombblog

    It’s never your year until it’s your year. Hang in there. BIG love xx

    • Melissa Walker Horn

      Sigh. So true. Thanks xox