They’re everywhere. The successful tales of 2012 being THE year for them. New pregnancies, pregnancies coming to fruition, new bubs. They’re everywhere. Or maybe, it just feels like it to me. There is nothing worse, I don’t think than starting to lose hope. Welcome to the halfway point of 2012. The cut off for having a baby this year has come and gone. All we have left now is the hope we might conceive a baby this year. Another one. One that stays. So I take my cell builder supplement and hope. Start the next round of everything and keep my fingers crossed.

Want it less. Starting to protect myself from the wanting. Declare it whatever. Holding so darn tightly to stories of success and blessing. 7 years and she has 8 weeks to go. A friend who started this year with me. Her probable last chance successful. A woman with a few months left who fell unexpectedly after believing she would never. I cling to their stories like my last shreds of hope.

I’m broken a little. But I’m ok.